Totally Coached, Inc.

A Physician & A Diabetic Patient: Before and After Learning Intrinsic Coaching®

Recently one of our new coaches, a family practice physician, shared the story of how Intrinsic Coaching® helped a patient with diabetes begin to take charge of her health and move forward with treatment.

The patient had been diagnosed a year earlier with diabetes. During the initial visit, when she learned of the diagnosis, I also talked with her about beginning insulin treatment. In my mind this was the best way to proceed. Given what I knew about the disease and possible treatments this was obviously the thing to do. I explained the treatment and reassured the patient about the effectiveness and safety of using insulin and we set our next appointment.

The patient, however, didn’t come back. In fact she stayed away for over a year. This time when I saw her I knew I wanted a different kind of conversation. I knew there was more to this patient and her thinking than was merely apparent.  So, this time I began the visit in a different way. I asked the patient, “What’s the most important thing to you about your diabetes?” The woman answered, “I don’t want to end up in a wheel chair.”

At first I was confused. Not starting insulin only increased the likelihood of the very consequences the patient was afraid of. I had learned from training in Intrinsic Coaching® that the most important thinking here was the patient’s thinking and that there was more to that thinking than I could possibly see. By taking an Intrinsic Coaching® approach I discovered that when this patient was younger she had seen several older relatives end up in wheelchairs as a result of diabetes and that those relatives had been on insulin. Aha!

Now I was able to share some important information regarding the changes in insulin treatment of the past 35 years. It was shared with the patient in a coach like way, keeping it simple and always asking for the patient’s thinking about the new information and what that might mean for her now.

In the end the patient chose to begin with insulin. Aware of what she did want and equipped with new information she was more able to draw on her best thinking. I felt relieved of the responsibility to “get the patient to do the right thing” and instead empowered her to take charge of her own health. It was a powerful shift in our thinking and in the relationship.

Teresa Pena, MD MBA
Lead Physician
Fairview Hugo Clinic
Hugo, MN

Listening with a Spirit of Service showed me that if I were ever in need, I'd want the guy with the pink hair to be the one who showed up to help.

The beauty of Intrinsic Coaching® is that is so aligned with my spiritual beliefs. As one makes the choice to view individuals as capable, creative and complete a change takes place in the Heart. We make the choice to see each person’s uniqueness, preciousness and completeness. We begin to have a heart of compassion and a spirit of service toward others. When we look beyond the exterior status, physical attributes, style and the “merely apparent” we discover amazing people!

My example this week did not begin with me listening with a spirit of service but when I did a transformation took place. I arrived at my workplace a few minutes late on a rainy Tuesday morning. I walked into my office to find twenty emails and eight voicemails waiting for me. I took a deep breath and a sip of hot coffee and dove halfheartedly into my work. The first voicemail was from a client we have done quite a bit of recruiting for and the relationship has been a bit rocky due to some slip ups on our part and some low pay rates on their part. My contact at this company was very upset that one of the associates we had placed there in a temporary position was still there. Apparently she had left a message the night before that he was to be fired, but needless to say, no one in our office had received the message or terminated the employee.

I decided to go in person to the client and tell “Kit” that he was being let go. A hard enough job was made a bit more complicated when Kit told me that he was dropped off and did not have any way to get home. So that is where my own lesson began. What was merely apparent about Kit is that he is of Asian heritage, has spiky, hot pink hair tied back with a head band, lip and tongue piercings, and purple flip flops, but I was about to discover that which was “not merely apparent” over the course of our 25 minute car ride.

As I sat next to Kit in the car and we started to talk I realized what a perfect opportunity it was to make the Choice to regard Kit as capable, creative and complete. As I did this, I became much more open to listening to Kit.  I thought about listening with a spirit of service, rather than jumping in with advice about work place do’s and don’ts. Kit began to pour out his heart about how he feels different and how hard it is to fit in to conventional society. He shared that his dream is to become a paramedic so that he can help people. He shared about his upbringing and his family and how much he wants to make them proud.

I gently encouraged Kit to think about what he wants. He said that what he really wants is to feel accepted and respected. He spoke of his desire to go to school and pursue his dream. He wants more than a minimum wage job and did not feel that he was valued at his job. While I am not sure how Kit felt after our drive, I know that I felt very good about it. I can see that he has so much compassion and tenderness in his soul. I know that if I were in need of help, I would want Kit to be the one helping me….pink hair and all.

That experience of intentionally choosing to make the choice and listen with a spirit of service, encouraged my heart and hopefully encouraged Kit to make the next step toward his goals.

-Corrie Merten, Recruiter, Express Employment Professionals, Chanhassen, MN

As a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching®...

What I have learned that I will take with me:

• Intrinsic Coaching® is bigger than just a technique…it’s an invitation to shift mindsets!
• I feel more comfortable in my own skin and take advantage of many different coaching opportunities.  I’m able to help others shift their thinking.  Intrinsic Coaching® is so powerful and I use it everywhere…with my grandchildren, with my self and with those I’m working with.
• Using what I’ve learned with Intrinsic Coaching® is so powerful and so rewarding.  I’ve been using it in group settings and have seen it work and the incredible impact it makes.  I want to continue using it on a daily basis.
• As a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching® I can elicit best thinking in myself and in others.  I want to stay with it and sustain it.  It’s a new way of being.
• This whole experience has been rewarding on many levels.  It’s been especially powerful to me personally because I can now get clear on what it is I want.
• I have seen the impact of learning Intrinsic Coaching® on both my professional and personal life.  These twelve weeks have taught me what I really want and have taught me a lot about myself, where I’m going and what my goals are.
• Learning Intrinsic Coaching® has helped me professionally in working with people.  I’m really able to engage their thinking which continues.  I’ve learned that the results outlast the conversation.
• I’ve learned to be quiet, let the coachee talk and explore what it is they want.  Choosing to view people as capable, creative and complete has changed the way I work with people.  I’m a better coach as a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching®.  It’s also affected my personal life quite profoundly.  I’ve explored what it is I’m wanting and have made major life changes as a result and I’m really happy.  This has changed my life!
• I have found ways to apply the intrinsic in a world of rules and regulations and it’s making such a difference.  By helping others find what they want I’m helping their performance and the way they do their job.  I want to apply what I’ve learned here on a daily basis.
• I’ve learned to really trust the process.  I see the results of using Intrinsic Coaching® and it’s exciting.
• I’ve received such a blessing out of going through the ICDS!  It’s very near and dear to my heart.  I’m seeing that through Intrinsic Coaching® people are able to navigate through life the way it was meant to be for them.

This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Jodi Sivon.  Congratulations to all!

Now that I'm an Intrinsic Coach®...

I have seen these important changes within myself:

• I have quieted my mind not totally, but stopped the inner voice and started to listen which is something never done before.
• There is no doubt I see everything differently than before I started the ICDS. I see things more clearly and from a different perspective now.
• I listen differently now – not for the solution anymore. Now I allow them to come to own solution.
• I have become a better listener – it really does make sense how different we really are.
• How much more aware I am of conversations I hear and see the intrinsic when it is there and when it is not. It has made me a better listener because I am more aware. There is no correct or perfect way of doing things. This has helped me to take a step back and not beat myself up and worry because things are going to unfold the way they need to.
• When I’m in a conversation I can step back and really listen without jumping in by turning down my internal dialogue.
• I look at people differently and try to honor them, their thoughts and ideas by listening with a spirit of service.
• I appreciate the silence more. I feel less uncomfortable and actually enjoy the silence once I realized the importance and value of the silence.
• Just taking a pause to listen more and taking an Intrinsic Coaching® approach allows me to feel less of a burden on myself and less responsible for the outcome. I don’t feel the burden to fix anymore.

What I want for people is:

• I believe happiness and peace exists in inside everyone. I want people to be able to clear the clutter get to what they want so they will have access to peace and happiness that already exists.
• To be empowered to feel their best and truly be empowered in all they do to be the best they can be.
• I wish for people clarity on what they want and where they are going.
• It is respectful to view people as capable, creative and complete. It  brings integrity to people and to treat them that way is important.
• To believe in themselves and have confidence they can do whatever they put their mind to.
• What they want for themselves and use Intrinsic Coaching® to help them discover what it is.
• To see themselves as capable, creative and complete so they can get to what they are really looking for.
• To realize they hold the answers within themselves and grow as individuals with limitless potential.
• I want for them what they want for themselves because this is a gift for other people.

-This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Tracy Larsen.  Congratultions to all!

Asking, “What am I going to do?” means you’re asking for the answer too soon.

One of the teams I have worked with over the past two years is a soccer team of young women. Their head coach is Terry Leiendecker who is also an Intrinsic Coach®. Two years ago they suffered through a disappointing season and were relegated to a lower division. Rather than splitting up to go to other teams to be able to play in the top division they chose to stay together, set the goal of making it back to the top division and then staying there. Terry told them it would be a developmental process; that it would take the whole two years; there would be progress from the start but no quick fixes. It would be about practice and learning and keeping their eyes on the goal. He asked me to join him in developing their athletic ability and work together with him on their mental skills.

The girls became the authors of their own story. They worked hard, stayed focused, had a lot of fun and rose to the top of their division and won the C-2 state championship. 7 of them went on to play for their high school varsity teams last fall as sophomores - an accomplishment no one would have predicted. So, they had worked their way back to the top division for this year.

But that was just one chapter in the story. This past spring and summer a series of injuries, bad luck and unfortunate timing left the team with a losing record and short of the number of points they needed to remain in division 1. Once again they were relegated. There were a lot of tears and sad faces when they  walked off the field on Saturday knowing they were headed back down to C-2. Several of them stopped to talk with me on the way to the parking lot. " What am I going to do?" each one asked. As an Intrinsic Coach® we know, of course, that the question, while important, is premature. So, after a hug or a pat on the back I said to each of them, I want to encourage you to take some time over the next week and ask yourself, " What am I wanting from this next year of soccer that is really important to me?" Just ponder it, let it roll around inside and if you feel like it even make some notes to yourself.

I saw them again today for a short transitional workout. They were sitting under the trees by the field putting on their shin pads and cleats. I really didn't know what to expect. I had prepared myself to go easy and to deal with the hangover of Saturday's loss. But, these girls amazed me again. They were talking about what they wanted, sometimes laughing, sometimes serious and getting clearer as they talked about what was really important to them. They wanted great coaching, they wanted to learn and train hard and keep improving, they wanted to play against the best competition they could find even if it meant playing tournaments outside their league. Getting dropped down didn't have to change any of that.

As the adults in the situation Terry and I could have swooped in and tried to fix it, petition the league for another chance or help the better players find other teams. But, at lunch after the game on Saturday we made the choice to regard them as creative, capable and complete. This is their team and they are fully capable of handling the situation and moving forward. It's their story and they get to be the authors. We also chose to ask them the central question - What do you want? Whatever they choose they are going to build on what's most important to them. Our role is to help them make their biggest contribution to accomplishing that.

I believe that for young people, actually for all of us, knowing with clarity what is really important and being able to draw on our own best thinking to accomplish those things is how healthy self esteem is really built,  not in just telling people how special they are. Learning to be the author of your own story, creating your own work of art from the inside out is true empowerment. Intrinsic Coaching® has informed our thinking each step of the way and will continue to do so as we work with the team. Whether they make it back to the top division or not these young women are learning to play a bigger game and as they move on in life they're going to be tough to stop.

I love Intrinsic Coaching®!

Tim Clark, CSCS, Intrinsic Coach® Mentor, is the owner of Kick It Training in Chaska , MN

Terry Leiendecker, CFP,CHFC, Intrinsic Coach®, is Partner at Thrivent Financial in Minneapolis, MN

Making the Choice allowed me to see more than what's merely apparent.

This week I made the Choice to view the individuals I came in contact with as capable, creative and complete. Although, I must admit that this is not quite as easy as it sounds. I had to continually remind myself to reinforce the Choice. It is actually more natural to allow negative thought processes emerge as situations arise that counter the idea that individuals are capable, creative and complete. It requires effort to alter one’s thinking and chose to view people in holistically.

One of the concepts from the first week material that impacted me the most is the idea of what is “not merely apparent”. As I contemplated what this concept involves, a bible verse came to mind from 1Samuel 16:7. “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the Heart.” Our human tendency is to look at the outward, extrinsic so that we can categorize and label what we see. But if we are able to transform our thinking and see that which is not merely apparent we can see the true individual for whom he or she is. One of the goals of my life is to be more “Christ-like” in my interactions with others. To me this means appreciating the individuality, uniqueness and preciousness of people. It is not our job to judge others but to value and love others.

My goal was put to the test this week at work. My position as a recruiter for an outsourcing firm is fertile ground for applying Intrinsic Coaching® principles. I interview approximately 10-15 candidates per week and place about four in new positions. It is very rewarding when the “fit” is right and both candidate and client are happy. But my example is with a particular candidate. This woman came into to apply for office service positions. Her resume was well done and she has over 15 years experience in payroll and accounting. But from the moment she walked in I noticed that she did not present herself well. She did not make good eye contact; she had a weak handshake, and spoke very quietly. She was not exactly the picture of an easily place able candidate, especially in today’s job market. During the interview I asked this candidate my standard behavioral questions and she did not have confident ready answers. Just as I was ready to close up our interview, I thought about the Choice and seeing what is not merely apparent.

Once I made the Choice to view her as capable, creative and complete, something changed. It may have been my own reaction toward her…but she started to open up. She said that her husband committed suicide and that her son who is in prison was let out for the funeral but attended the service in shackles under supervision by a watch guard. Her grief was so thick and palpable. As she spoke, my heart began to soften and I was able to identify with her and the grief she is experiencing. Her body language relaxed once she opened up to me and she looked into my eyes. We made a connection in that moment!

Had I not put the Choice into action, my encounter with this woman would have ended with me thinking that she was not place able due to my perceived view of her extrinsically. She would have likely left my office feeling overlooked, misunderstood, rushed and/or distressed. Had this woman and I not made the intrinsic connection, I would not feel as compelled to advocate for her in this tight market. She may have not have felt comfortable emailing me to thank me for the interview.

The decision to make the Choice and see more than what was merely apparent allowed us to connect with one another. She was able to feel comfortable and express herself. Once she did, a confidence emerged and her eyes lit up. I am more motivated now to help her find a position that will meet her needs at this time in her life.

-Corrie Merten, Recruiter, Express Employment Professionals, Chanhassen, MN

Learning Intrinsic Coaching® has made me a better listener.

I have always thought of myself as a good listener and I found in using Intrinsic Coaching® I really wasn’t as good a listener as I thought I was.   I’m realizing now that I have become a more active listener. I listen with a spirit of service.  With Intrinsic Coaching® I don’t feel pressure to share information the way I might have done before and I can allow the pauses in conversations to be just that because I recognize work is happening. I find that the thinking continues outside the conversation and I find that very elating.  With Intrinsic Coaching® I’m learning that it’s not enough to have an ear and be quiet, but really to be active in the listening and allow your questions to come from that place.  I want to take an Intrinsic Coaching® approach with everybody and do it well, so that each person that I’m coaching or at least having a conversation with will get the benefit out of the conversation by allowing them to really develop their own thinking.

Annette E Cunningham BSc. MB;BS
Assistant Program Director
Organization for Srategic Development in Jamaica
Minneapolis, MN

Learnings from an Organizational Coaching Series...

Now that I'm an Intrinsic Coach®...

• I’m having more results because I’m self-managing and focusing on the coachee’s thinking which is important instead of my own.
• I’ve learned to really explore the goal.  A goal is what is closet to being fully alive and a strategy is just a way to get there.
• As a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching® I have a whole new way of thinking and it’s thinking I use in every aspect of my life.  I’ve seen Intrinsic Coaching® work and I know it will continue to work.  Learning this has given me a tool for life!
• In the beginning I thought this would be something I would use just in the field, but really you can use it in all aspects of life on a daily basis.
• I’ve learned to stop talking as much and listen more.  It makes coaching others so much easier and less draining on me.
• I will take away the choice to view people as capable, creative and complete.  My role is really to help people find their own best answers instead of telling them what to do.
• This has exceeded my expectations!  Intrinsic Coaching® has given me a different approach to working with people.  It’s a very effective approach regardless of what I’m doing, whether it’s in the workplace or at home.  Asking what do you want and helping someone find clarity is enormous and is truly serving others.  I feel I have a gift that keeps on giving.
• I’ve become a better listener and am able to view people as capable, creative and complete.  This has helped me understand people better and has helped improve relationships both professionally and personally.
• I have an awareness for the different types of thinking and have experienced a shift in thinking.  It’s hard to believe I didn’t think this way before!
• I’ve really learned to quiet my own inner dialogue and allow people to do the thinking which creates much better results.
• The greatest part of this journey is the results I’ve seen.  Focusing on the intrinsic provides more meaning to people’s results and their own life.
• Learning Intrinsic Coaching® has given me a way of listening and engaging others thinking.  It creates ownership which can go a long way in organizations.

This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals who partipated in the Organizational Coaching series was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Jodi Sivon.  Congratulations to all!

Learning Intrinsic Coaching® helps me help my daughter, a diabetic.

Learning the Intrinsic Coaching® methodology is helping me help my daughter who is diabetic.  She's 27 now and has been a diabetic since she was nine.  I have always been the food police to her.  She's been very ill over the last two years including a coma, she was hospitalized about forty times, and she had to move in with me and my husband.  Recently, she moved out on her own again, having had no hospitalizations in several months.  Then, last week, she was hospitalized again. When she was released, she was returned to our home for a few days. 

When she was nearly ready to the time to leave, I asked her, "Can you help me out?  I need to do a coaching session.  Would you like to participate?" And she said, "Yes" to my surprise.  So I said, "It will only take ten minutes and is going to be mostly just asking you questions, no right or wrong answers.  So how would you like to spend the next ten minutes?"  And she said, "I want to talk about getting my life on track and getting a good job." 

And she mentioned having fun again.  So I asked her what these things looked like to her and she said, "Well, being healthy, being able to do things spontaneously, going out with my friends, and not having to watch every penny, from paycheck to paycheck." And I said, "What do you want most in this moment?" and then she went on to say that she wanted a job and to be healthy.  The conversation progressed but it was slow with long pauses.  It lasted 17 minutes. 

When we were wrapping up the conversation, I found the conversation went in a direction that I had no idea happened!  Things were on her mind about work and being scrutinized and she was concerned about going back to work because she had missed three days and she knew people were going to ask about her.  But she likes her privacy and doesn't like people worrying about her.  And she got a chance to actually say all of that and at the end, I said, "Well, all right, we're going to kind of wrap things up" and she said, "You know, I can have all these things (health, permanent job, and spontaneity), if I maintain my diabetes."  That was such a shock I almost fell off my seat!  For my daughter to articulate that, after years of me begging, pleading, and crying for her to take her diabetes seriously was major. She knew that she would not have had these complications if she had done that earlier. More importantly, she said it on her own and I think it was real to her.  The answer came from her because it was there all the time.

I asked her, "What are you going to take away with you from this conversation?"  She said, "That my health is important and I'm going to take care of my health." I was elated because I knew she meant it.  I didn't push any further and I didn't ask for a next step because I felt she's a smart girl and she's will to be thinking about this. 

The next morning, I was talking to her and gave her a "wanting for" statement.  I said, "I'm wanting peace for you," and she said, "Are you supposed to say that to me?" And I said, "Well, I'm supposed to give you a wanting statement and my wanting statement is that I want peace for you."   I said that because I could see that she was stressed by her health and trying to keep her apartment and get a job that's a permanent position. 

Then, later on, I asked her, "How's your day going so far?" and she said, "Good, and, yeah, everybody's concerned about me, but that's okay." And the mother in me couldn't help but ask, "Do you think talking about that last night helped you today?" And she said "Definitely."

I can see that I listened, for the first time in, probably, eighteen years.  I really listened to what she was saying, instead of thinking of what I wanted to know and wanted to say to try to keep her well, which has not worked in eighteen years. And I said over and over to my husband, "I wish I had known about Intrinsic Coaching® when she was first diagnosed."  What a totally different scenario we would have experienced. 

And I mentioned how hard it is to coach someone that you know and how I really wanted to coach her but I was afraid that she was going to think that this was going to be another lecture. But when I coached her, I said to myself that she'll know it's not a lecture because I was shutting up.  She did all of the talking and she's not one to just open up and tell her innermost thoughts because she wants to be in control and she holds on to everything.  However, when I coached her, she just let it flow. She got a little emotional at one point, but she was still able to just speak her peace, and I could tell that she was relieved by the conversation. 

And I felt like I worked a lot less hard than I had ever worked before.

It's such a gift, such a gift, such a gift!  I asked her, "At some point would you be willing to do this again?" And she said, "Oh yeah."  And then I explained the premise of Intrinsic Coaching® and I could see in her eyes that she liked it.  And a final post script is that she is starting graduate school next winter.

Sharon Smith, BS
Fitness Coordinator Mather Lifeways
Certified Leader for Tuft’s University Strong Living Program
Prime Time Sister Circle Facilitaor
Chicago, IL

Taking an Intrinsic Coaching® approach with my three year old daughter...

I’ve been taking an Intrinsic Coaching® approach with my three year old daughter and have been choosing to view her as capable, creative and complete.  In doing so I’m starting to ask her questions and then she feels involved.  I noticed that when I do this and stop saying, “No” and actually go back and give her the choices, that there are a lot less fits, so it’s huge in our family. It’s been especially helpful because when you scold her, she gets very sensitive and just kind of shuts down.  It’s been really interesting to see her personality develop as I give her more choices. It’s amazing because even though she’s so little I’m seeing how much she really knows at that age when I give her the chance. It’s been a great experience so far.  As I continue to approach my children with Intrinsic Coaching®, I’m looking forward to seeing more of their personality. I want them to develop and be the person that they can be and want to be. It’s exciting to see. 

Lisa Mitchell, MS
Health Cost Management Account Manager
Stanton Group
Plymouth, Minnesota

Intrinsic Coaching® really does move you forward in your thoughts.

I have been having difficulty putting a finger on something that I want and what my next steps are and so I decided to do some Intrinsic Coaching® on myself and was very successful.  By doing so I came to some conclusions towards the next steps regarding what I want, which made some of my anxiety go away, allowing me to be more productive in my thinking and have a much more productive week.

With this experience I learned that it’s valuable to lean on those core elements of Intrinsic Coaching® no matter what kind of situation you’re in. Whether you’re talking to someone or talking to yourself, it makes everything clearer. The pressure is gone and even if you do not come to the next steps at that particular time, using this process really does move you forward in your thoughts.

I’ve realized the concept of every moment being unique. It’s almost like you have to check-in with yourself. What I’ve been doing weekly is asking myself, “Is this what I want?” because last week is different than this week and yesterday is different than today. So in that way it’s a unique check-in process and using words like, “What is it that I want?” has been really helpful. 

As an Intrinsic Coach®, being aware that that moment in time is unique is important because regardless of previous conversations and past experiences, each moment is a brand new moment and that person’s thinking is in a brand new place.   That’s what I choose to work with and I’m able to be compassionate as a result of that.

Christa Marney, RD, LD
Medical Nutrition Therapy Northwest
Clackamas, OR
Private Practice Dietitian

Our meeting was much more productive as a result of Intrinsic Coaching®

I used Intrinsic Coaching® at a committee meeting I ran at my church.  There’s thirteen of us on this brand new committee and we’re planning our church’s 100th anniversary.  I wanted this to be a productive meeting and I wanted to elicit the group’s best creative thinking.  I started the meeting using Intrinsic Coaching® by asking, “What do you want this 100th anniversary to look like?” I got a variety of answers.  Some wanted it to be a celebration, others wanted it to be spiritual and others mentioned that a service orientated approach was important to them.

Throughout the meeting I continued to ask more questions like, “What does the celebration look like?” In the end it was a very productive meeting. I even wrapped up the meeting by asking, “With everything we have discussed, what do we want to take with us from this meeting?” and we came up with a whole list of what we wanted and what we would do.

By taking an Intrinsic Coaching® approach to this meeting I felt like there was clarity. And that’s exactly what we needed to have so that we know what our next steps are. I felt powerful and was able to accomplish more over a short period of time. We had real quality in our meeting.  It wasn’t a bunch of people sitting around and when you walk away, you have no idea what was going on. We knew exactly what we wanted this anniversary to be and what it’s going to be. I felt really good about it.

Patty Tillman, R.N., BSN
Health and Wellness Program
Genesis Health Systems
Rock Island, Illinois

Learning Intrinsic Coaching® has reduced my stress immensely when working with others.

Just making the choice to view people as capable, creative and complete has reduced my stress immensely. I have felt this deep seeded obligation to try everything I could think of to help people get to where they wanted to go and just wasn’t having the success that I wanted. I was running myself ragged trying to figure out ways to help people accomplish whatever it was that they were going to accomplish. I was carrying their anguish, their grief and their disappointments in themselves and I felt like I had the weight of the world over my shoulders related to how others were going about their lifestyle changes. I still feel like I want to be a part of their successes and their challenges, and Intrinsic Coaching® allows me to be a part of it in a whole new way.  Just making the Choice to view them in a way that they’re in control of their own success and their own destinies make such a difference. People are not going to make change unless it’s their own want and their own desire and they’re working towards something that is important to them.  This has made the biggest impact on my personal wellness and stress and anxiety levels. To know that I have so much to put forward in combination with what the client knows about themselves with has been wonderful.

Amanda Salyer-Funk M.S.
Assistant Director-Sports Facilities and Recreation Services
Ball State University
Muncie, IN

Through Intrinsic Coaching® I'm able to turn an unsatisfied experience into a sincere learning moment for both me and the other person.

I’ve found that using what I’m learning through Intrinsic Coaching® has been a way for me to take situations where customers have been unsatisfied with a product, service or an experience and turn that into a sincere learning moment for both me and the other person.

For example, I was working with someone who was disappointed with her progress within a very traditional, systemic program. This person’s strategy to get to their so called “goal” was to come to these programs and see what happens and of course at the end of the program they weren’t happy, weren’t satisfied and didn’t achieve the goal. What this person was truly wanting wasn’t identified. So at the end of the program when she wanted more, I used that as an opportunity to have an Intrinsic Coaching® conversation. I knew that it could potentially open up some thinking for her so that she could move forward.

As I move forward, I want to be able to influence people to utilize some of these things to do service recovery.  I want to enhance what we’re doing here and enhance the relationships that we have with our customers and our clients by having conversations on what they’re wanting.  Sometimes we create these things, these elements that people can play in and participate in, without even having a conversation with them. With Intrinsic Coaching® I now have a better way of creating these things.

Amanda Salyer-Funk M.S.
Assistant Director-Sports Facilities and Recreation Services
Ball State University
Muncie, IN

Reflections from a Certified Intrinsic Coach®...

Before I was an Intrinsic Coach®:

1. Before I was an Intrinsic Coach® I used to try to use motivational quotes to try to inspire and empower my Spinning® students and now I ask them questions so they inspire themselves.  The result is greater commitment to goals from my students and more energy for me.

2. Before I was an Intrinsic Coach® I used to pretty much go through life on auto-pilot, react more to my life and do things that I thought I should, and now I actively create my life around what is most important to me and am much more intentional.  The result is having a life where my career, education, and relationships are all thriving and balanced with each other.

3. Before I was an Intrinsic Coach® I used to take on lots of things to try to fill me up and provide value in my life and now I only take on things to which I am committed and truly passionate about.  The result is less stress and resentment and having more time for the important relationships in my life.

4. Before I was an Intrinsic Coach® I used to get annoyed by all the things my husband is not and now I value him for who he is and want for him what he wants for himself.  The result is feeling more connected to him and recognizing the blessing I have with him in my life.

5. Before I was an Intrinsic Coach® I used to be in fast forward, waiting for the next phase of my life and now I appreciate the growth and beauty of each moment along the way to my larger goals.  The result is not being as impatient or frustrated and valuing the here and now.

Rosie Ward,MPH, CHES
Certified Intrinsic Coach® and Intrinsic Coach® Mentor
Minneapolis, MN

Now that I'm an Intrinsic Coach®

I will have these learnings forever:

• I'm really listening to my own intrinsic thinking and voice so that I can do what is most important to me.
• I have an awareness that now allows me to step outside the real world and to know that what is most important to me is what I need to act on and not feel overwhelmed by my choices.
• I have learned the importance of choosing to view people as capable creative and complete and to value people's thinking.
• The awareness I’ve had during this series is priceless. I have changed my life and know that I will continue to grow.
• By going beyond what is merely apparent, I no longer live in the superficial. I now learn so much more about people.
• Knowing that I have the answers to the many goals I set and reach and that I will continue to learn.
• By looking at what is not merely apparent I have discovered a new respect for myself and others.
• Keeping an open mind and finding clarity as a coach to get to the heart of the matter.

What I want for people is:

• To be able to think about what is really important to themselves and motivate themselves to take what they have and go with it.
• To view themselves as capable, creative and complete and trust their own best judgment and what is best for them and not other people’s opinions.
• The feeling of self confidence and self worth and to trust their own opinions.
• To trust their best thinking because they have power and integrity within themselves.
• To have the confidence to know they have the answers inside themselves and not to seek others to tell them what to do, but to figure it out for themselves.
• To know they have the knowledge inside to do what they know is important to them.
• Empowerment for themselves and to know that I have served them and not fixed them. And, to be all they can be as they are unique.
• To be able to come to their own conclusions.  To find the answer mostly on their own, with some guidance from me.   To be able to find a conclusion, answer or closure to something on your own brings confidence and self-reassurance to a person.  We are always looking for someone else to provide the answer, but to come up with something by yourself with a little push from us to get them to think, can make a huge difference in someone's life.

This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Tracy Larsen.  Congratulations to all!

Now that I'm an Intrinsic Coach®...

What I have learned:

• This has been life changing for me!  I’ve learned so much about myself and other people.  It’s really a process of self-discovery.  I can draw on Intrinsic Coaching® in so many situations in all areas of my life.
• Everyone should learn Intrinsic Coaching®
• More and more (automatically) Intrinsic Coaching® is becoming my first choice.  I’m integrating it into what I do and who I am.
• I’ve learned a lot about myself throughout these twelve weeks which will enable me to continue to grow.  As a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching® I am able to serve others and honor their thoughts and their thinking.  This is where my heart wants to be.
• I’ve learned how to really listen to people.  I used to give people the answers; now I elicit thinking from them so they can find their own answers.
• This has given me a new perspective on listening to people.  I’m able to really focus on the other person (and not my idea of who they are) and allow them to discover things that are important to them.
• There is so much I am taking away as a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching®.  I’ve shifted to a much better way of working with people because I am now serving people.
• This has been freeing for me!  It helps me to let go of judgments and work with that unique individual in a unique moment of time.
• Making the choice to view people as capable, creative and complete has given me patience.  When using the Intrinsic Coaching® approach it’s not as hard on me because I don’t have to fill in the spaces and figure things out.  Instead I enable others to work with where they are at in their own thinking.
• I believe that Intrinsic Coaching® creates sustainable results because people are thinking better and thinking differently about their choices.  It’s their thinking that will make a difference, more so than the information we can share.

This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Jodi Sivon.  Congratulations to all!

Now that I'm an Intrinsic Coach®...

I will carry these learnings with me:

• I have changed my focus to find out what the other person really wants and choose to view everyone as capable, creative and complete. I now know that their ideas are much better than mine.
• I am a more understanding person and I’m better able to help others help themselves.
• I now see myself as capable, creative and complete. There is no failure, only learning and that I am better able to serve others.
• I have learned to listen and not make judgments based on what is merely apparent.
• The conversation is the tip of the iceberg because there is so much more going on. It is an organic process and I can now let go of the rigid rules of the past. The conversation is just the beginning and there is so much more there.
• People are different and change from moment to moment. I now look at what is not merely apparent.
• I am listening with my spirit and I am honoring the silence.
• I have more patience and focus more on the thinking moments when nothing is being said because new thinking is fragile.
• I have let go of the information seeking questions and now ask questions to elicit best thinking.
• I used to think I knew what others were truly wanting, but now I know that people will tolerate our ideas but act on their own. I no longer give them my two cents.

What I want for people is:

• What they want for themselves and clarity.
• To find their own best thinking.
• To view themselves as capable, creative and complete.
• To know that they have the answers that they are looking for.
• To have the confidence to know that they have their own answers.
• To have peace and increase their intrinsic thinking.
• To know that another way to do things is within their reach and it is doable.

This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Tracy Larsen.  Congratulations to all!

It is a gift to think this way.

I’m so convinced on the benefits of Intrinsic Coaching®!  It’s now a major part of what I do and who I am.  Learning it has been monumental.  Intrinsic Coaching® allows people to discover for themselves what they are really wanting.  It is a gift to think this way.  I feel like it is my responsibility to share Intrinsic Coaching® with others.

Lynn Herrmann, M.P.H.
Intrinsic Coach® and Fitness Specialist
Advocate Fitness
Park Ridge, IL

As a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching®...

I’ve learned that inside of pauses there are opportunities for thinking and that exploring goals instead of problems opens up clarity which promotes ‘ah-ha’ moments.  I’ve also learned the value of one step at a time…it puts the intrinsic into motion.  I plan on incorporating Intrinsic Coaching® in all aspects of my life.

Tracey Ream RN, BSN, CCM
Disease Manager