Self management and making the choice to value the person rather than my own thinking (or curiosity) has given me opportunities to be of greater service to my work environment, home,and social network. I listen to conversations and I ask myself what would I ask this person (or persons) to open their thinking or support them in achieving their goal(s). When I take the initiative to ask a question I have to stop and ask myself is this for my edification or the expansion of thinking of the person in front of me? When I do that the question is more impactful and even if the person does not have an answer, I can tell that they are thinking. I have had conversations that basically stopped because I was more concerned about doing a "good job" as a coach than listening to the coachee and staying where they were in the conversation. I have not been as supportive, when I focus on what I think should be happening in that moment. When I think systemically, the questions are not serving the coachee. When I suspend me and elevate the coachee, the coachee's thinking develops and expands to a solution or conclusion that is right for them and not my idea of them....The Intrinsic Coaching® methodology has the potential to change the world, because at the heart of every conflict are two or more people who want to be heard and valued.
Sharon Smith, B.S. ED, A.A.S., CIC
Mather Life Ways
Sharon, a CIC, has been working on her skills since 2008 and shared this learning at the end of her second ICDS II, which followed her second ICDS I.