I began coaching a woman in early August 2008. She had just completed the “Know Your Numbers Campaign” biometric screening conducted by the corporate MinuteClinic at CVS Caremark Customer Support Center. She received screening for total cholesterol, LDL, HDL, triglycerides, BP, diabetes and BMI. She tested above normal for cholesterol, BP, diabetes and BMI. Because she was in a high risk category, she was offered various interventions, including face to face coaching with an onsite Intrinsic Coach®. She chose to take advantage of Intrinsic Coaching® and so I called her and scheduled 30 minute weekly meetings which began on August 1, 2008. This is her story.
The first half of the first meeting with her was all Intrinsic Coaching® and I was pleased that I did not fall back into my old habits of “information gathering” and then telling her what to do. She came prepared with a written copy of her biometric results but I never asked to see them. After introductions and a brief explanation of Intrinsic Coaching®, my first question to her was, “Given all that you learned from your screening at MinuteClinic, what was it that stood out as most important to you?” She immediately said that her health was very important because she wanted to “be around” for her family. She then summarized the results of her screening without giving exact numbers and said she knew that even though her cholesterol and BP were elevated, she knew that her weight was what she felt was important because it was “dragging her down and affecting everything she does.” She talked about past attempts at weight loss and said she knows what she should do, but just couldn’t do it. She said every time she went off a diet, she felt like she had failed and things just got worse. She mentioned feeling like a failure and that every time she ate the wrong food, she felt bad. It had become a vicious cycle that she wished she could change.
With that I then asked her, “Take yourself to a moment when you are in the cafeteria and you are choosing to eat, what is it you really want in that very moment?” After several moments of thinking, she said, “I’m not sure what I really want in that moment but I know I am not hungry and it is not food!” She said she realized she was eating for reasons other than hunger and asked “Why am I like this?” I saw this as an unanswered question and asked her if she would like to spend time in our coaching sessions exploring her question of eating for reasons other than hunger. She emphatically said “Yes!”
Although we went on to explore some E and S thinking around the hunger scale, physical signs of hunger, and asking herself the question 'what am I really wanting' before she eats, her intrinsic thinking was definitely informing her extrinsic and systemic thinking. We ended the session with her stating that she wanted to spend time before our next appointment simply asking herself if she is hungry when she eats. My “want for” statements for her were: “I want for you greater insight into your question “What do I want when I eat if it is not food? I also want for you the good health you are seeking so you will have the time you want with your family.”
Since that first session, my coachee and I have met 7 more times and she is making tremendous progress. Our sessions always start with me asking what she wants to discuss and she usually wants to give a review of her week with examples of how she is applying her new learning. She always has a scenario from her week that she highlights – some she was proud of and some she was not. When she describes a situation, I ask her what she learned that was important and this often leads to zooming in more on what she really wants when she eats. She has described wanting peace of mind, time by herself, and to be a good example for her children. Overall she is learning that she eats because she wants to feel better. When she realizes she is not hungry, she is now able to ask herself “What do I want that would make me feel better right now?” She knows that she is so accustomed to meeting her needs with food, that eating is the first thing she reaches for when she wants to feel better. She knows it took a long time to develop this thinking, so she understands it will take a long time to undo it as well. She is learning to eliminate the words “good, bad, failed, should, etc.. She no longer feels bad about her choices and she stated in our last session that she feels much happier and proud of herself. We are also using some strategies in the coaching sessions that will help her focus on whether or not she's hungry but only after her intrinsic thinking leads her there and I always ask permission.
I think one of the most important things that this coachee has received is that she has the power to think better about her choices and this will be invaluable as she begins to coach herself. Practically speaking, when she wants to eat, she now has the ability to ask herself “What is it I really want right now – what will satisfy me now?” When she isn't hungry but finds herself reaching for food, she has learned to ask herself “What am I wanting now? My old habit was to reach for food but I’m not hungry so what is it I truly want at this moment besides food?” Although this is just a start, this ability to coach herself at any time, anywhere will last! We have discussed that we all change from moment to moment and her choices will be different at different times. She’s planning on continuing our bi-weekly sessions for the next 2 months as long as our schedules allow; my 30 minutes with her are the highlight of my week!
Claudine Reilly, RN, MA, COHN-S, CHES, Certified Intrinsic Coach®
Wellness Manager
CVS Caremark
