Totally Coached, Inc.

How the face of medicine could really be changed with Intrinsic Coaching®!

This week was really interesting in that I had an opportunity to work with a chronic pain group about the benefits of massage therapy.  This was a new experimental lifestyle group with chronic pain in a very low income, poor population.  Attendance had been dropping away since the group started and so it was suggested to me to keep it simple and just do some hands on work with folks after a mini presentation.  I approached this presentation much differently than previous ones and asked people what they were interested in and what was important to them.  What resulted was so beautiful.  It was like it was almost the first time they had been asked that question even though there were other health care providers in the room whom had been working with them in managing their pain. 

After the presentation and the hands on one-on-one massage work, it was clear to me that their nervous systems were so amped up that there was no way I was going to do any kind of orthopedic work with them.  So I just did everything with them to foster the relaxation response.  As I was working with them, I asked “What are you wanting for yourself from this group?”   It was so incredible to have all these different, productive conversations in just the few minutes that I had with each of them.  The thing that kept coming out of the various conversations was the feeling of not being heard by their health care providers.  They’d say, “I just feel like no one is listening to me.  They want to look at this one spot when I’ve got this other spot that’s really bothering me.”

I was feeling so moved by their stories and what they’re wanting for their life even in the midst of intense pain they go through every single day.  By the feel of their body and their reactions, they were in a lot of pain.  With just a miniscule amount of pressure they’d say, “Oh, that hurts.”   Then they would relax a little bit and they would have a clearing in some respects.  Some of them would cry because someone was actually touching them instead of poking them with a needle or passing out a pill. 

Afterward I talked to one of their doctors and just shared in general that it was really important to the members of this group to be heard and I just listened most of the time when they talked.  He said, “You know, you’re absolutely right.  We just come in and do our metrics and don’t really ask what they are wanting, we’re just prescribing.  There are things we need to do differently and this feedback is really important for the next group.”   How the face of medicine could really be changed with Intrinsic Coaching®!   People could really feel important in their conversations with their health care providers instead of being looked over.

So, again, it was a really powerful experience.  Not only that, but the people that were there, are folks that haven’t been able to earn money because of the pain they are in.  They are being prescribed medicines that make them feel very unproductive.  So they’re looking for additional ways to manage their pain, to live their life, but they are not sure where to go.  It was an amazing experience to watch people come alive, even though they are in this excessive pain, as I worked on them, asked them what they were wanting and really just listened to them.   It was like there was this light in their eye when they got up from the chair.  I don’t think it was the massage.  I think it was more that they were feeling heard and being asked what was important to them.  It was really powerful.  The people in this group are beautiful people and what I want for them is full aliveness and the awareness of their resilience, their own beauty.

Tracy Bell, MA LMT NCTMB, IC®
Penfield, NY

At first I was a skeptic

"Learning Intrinsic Coaching®, is so counter-intuitive that I was a total skeptic when I started, now I’m a believer! I have more of a relationship with my patients, it takes less time and it’s opening entirely new doors, even with patients that I’ve had for two years or more!"

~Tracey Sholtis, IC®, Clinical Services, American Health Care

Massage Therapists Say...

Learning Intrinsic Coaching® has helped me learn to sit with another human being and give him or her the space to enter into their best thinking. I have learned that there is this one most basic question that changes everything: What is it that you are really wanting? This puts the person back into the center of his or her own being, open to more possibilities than anyone or any system of thinking can offer. It is a place of utter creativity, of quiet self-acceptance, of thrilling possibility.

 - Bob Patrick, NBCMT; NBCT, Latin; Intrinsic Coach®; Lawrenceville, GA

 
Because I listen better to clients now, my questions are better, too, and that helps the client better articulate what he or she needs from me.

 - Cindy Digraffenreid, Massage Therapist and Intrinsic Coach®

 
Using Intrinsic Coaching® has enabled me to live totally in the present moment, listening instead of talking, feeling my heart grow larger because it is filling with love and appreciation of people for having the courage to be right where they are in that moment. Viewing everyone as capable, creative and complete has changed my life.

- Debra Beal, Licensed Massage Therapist & Intrinsic Coach®, Oakland, MD

 

 

I'm now more aware of the value of the client's stillness because I recognize that silence isn't empty. For the client, the silence is full.

I see the importance of self-reflection and self-management. By asking clients for their thinking and not rushing ahead to say what I'm thinking, I'm more able to listen better to the client and that helps me better assess what clients need from me.

Because I listen better to clients now, my questions are better, too, and that helps the client better articulate what he or she needs from me. I have the ability to self-reflect and be aware of my own thinking about clients. This helps me find my own best thinking about clients and that helps me interact with them better.

I used to need a lot of verbal feedback from the client and if I didn't get it I thought something was wrong. Now I am able to focus more on the client instead of focusing so much on my internal dialogue and I can see the value I am providing in different way. That makes my work more satisfying for me.

Learning Intrinsic Coaching® and having all of this awareness about my thinking and my clients' thinking gives me more confidence as a therapist and shows me even more that what I am doing is valuable.

- Cindy DiGraffenreid, Massage Therapist and Intrinsic Coach®

Integrating Intrinsic Coaching® with Massage Therapy
By Katrina Koller, Massage Therapist, Intrinsic Coach®

I learned that a client's attitude toward healing and the way they view their own state of health or capacity for healing plays a huge role in their progress.

I was able to elicit new thinking and noticed clients would refer to a change that occurred in between the sessions.

I realized that if I let go of my focus on technique and really allowed each step to inform the next, I was much more "tuned in" to the client and could sense even the slightest shift in energy.

I immediately felt more connected to clients and saw better results.

For Katrina's entire article, click here.

Intrinsic Coaching® is much like doing massage and energy work. With our clients, the intention is to provide them with a safe place to allow for whatever healing changes are to take place. Whether working with the physical structures or the energy flow, we focus on supporting and encouraging the body/mind of the client, who we are working with, to do what it has the full potential to do. With both Massage/Bodywork and Intrinsic Coaching® we focus on the client or coachee as being whole and creative and the body/mind fully capable of achieving the goal through its own knowledge and potential. I am thankful for this great opportunity for growth through this very special course.

- Cynthia Knight, Massage Therapist, Intrinsic Coach®, Grantsville, MD

From learning Intrinsic Coaching®, the interview time is much shorter and I am getting much clearer information on clients' wants and needs. I think asking the wanting question is empowering to the client and they feel heard. I'm not treating only what's obvious but what they really want.

- Kate Kennedy, LMT, IC®, Certified Doula, Ballwin, MO

 

In the process of keeping up with CEUs as a massage therapist, there are only a few classes I take that facilitate a real paradigm shift in how I shape my practice. The Intrinsic Coach® Development Series has not only helped to reinforce my belief that we already have within ourselves all the wisdom and resources for change that we need, but it has given me more effective tools for listening and offering questions to my clients (and myself) that help open up more insightful thinking. Additionally, when I hold in my consciousness the principles of Intrinsic Coaching® in the midst of my hands-on work, I get a more intuitive sense of the direction to move next. That was a result I didn't expect!

- Joanne Checci, Licensed Massage Therapist, Intrinsic Coach®

 

 

 

 

Learning Intrinsic Coaching® has given me a framework to expand the scope of my practice to wellness coaching.

- Fred Krazeise, M.A. Ed., CMT, Intrinsic Coach®, Herndon, VA

 

 

 

 

Utilizing Intrinsic Coaching® in my practice as a massage therapist gives me a great tool to truly focus all my intention and energy on the unique needs of each individual I work with. It is like a constant reminder of how to better serve any client or guest by asking them what it is they want out of the service or what about the service is important for them.

- Claire Timmers, LMT, Intrinsic Coach®, Fajardo, PR

 

Learning Intrinsic Coaching® made me think about how I communicated with others. It has helped me to see others in a different and more positive way. I am thinking through my own problems by self coaching. Intrinsic Coaching® has added to my general life skills.

- Laurie Hoenig, MT, NCBTMB, Intrinsic Coach®, Crosslake, MN

The Intrinsic opens the way to access one's own unconditioned guidance. It allows the communion between two or more people to bypass the psychic static that confuses and obstructs communication. Since I began coaching from my intrinsic nature, I now talk to the heart, instead of "talking to the hand." :)

- Ib'nallah S. Kazi, Intrinsic Coach®, Fitness Trainer, Massage Therapist

 

 

Learning Intrinsic Coaching® is allowing me to work more effectively with my clients. They are getting more out of their massage sessions and appreciate the quality conversations.

- Dorothy Posillico, LMT, NCBTMB, Intrinsic Coach®, Milford, CT

I am glad I took the Intrinsic Coach® Development Series.  It has helped with communication not only with clients, but with family and friends.  I come from a family of "tellers" - we can tell you what you should do, but are not much help with helping.  Intrinsic Coaching® treats the individual as capable and complete thereby giving them the opportunity to find their own way to their answers.  During massages I have found that by communicating in this way, the client can figure out what they can do to help themselves, both fiscally and mentally.

- Jeanette Field, NCBTMB, Intrinsic Coach®

Now that I'm an Intrinsic Coach®...

What have you learned now that you will have forever?

• I want to cultivate intrinsic thinking (in myself and others) so that it will continue to grow.
• The choice to regard people as capable, creative, and complete even when I may be led to feel or think otherwise.  This always opens up more possiblities.
• The knowledge of I don’t have all the answers.  The coachee has their own answers.  Look for the not merely apparent, and let them figure it out. That’s freedom.
• I’m not in the role to fix people.  I can help them look inside to find what they really want.  The answers are inside of the coachee.
• A logic that will help my clients and myself simplify things, and get to what’s really important.  This brings a lot of clarity and doesn’t complicate things.
• The entire Intrinsic Coaching® approach is a sincere way of approaching/working with people, (listening with a spirit of service, seeing others as capable, creative, and complete).  I will now approach people in a more sincere and holistic way.
• Keeping the methodology alive by staying connected with my own intrinsic (capacity) so I can help and listen with a spirit of service. 
• I feel like I have a new shift in thinking, a new attitude, a solid foundation to build upon.  It has been such a growth period for me.

If it could be described in a word, what’s the greatest gift you’ve given to yourself through this learning experience?

• Silence – appreciation of the silence for myself and others.  I see the value in silence.
• Connection - to inner self for me and the coachee.  Connecting to the coachee in what they want, and how to move forward.
• Learning - there are no mistakes.  You’re always learning.  It’s an on-going process.
• Respect - all these things you’re giving to someone (making The Choice to see them as capable, creative, and complete, listening with a spirit of service)to bring forth their thinking.  You are respecting them as you wish to be respected.
• Presence – to be present with myself and clients.
• Choice – to continue to make The Choice.  I choose to make this choice in order to work with what's not apparent, to keep it going and keep it alive.
• Communication – It is important for me to have good relationships with people professionally and personally.  Better communication through listening, builds into being a better communicator and relating to other people.  Intrinsic Coaching® has given me that.
• Maximize – encompasses everything, in wanting to have the maximum contribution from the coachee (such as) listening with a spirit of service and thinking of the coachee as capable, creative and complete.

This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Deborah Crespo.  Congratulations to all!

Giving a coachee the power to think better about her choices and the ability to coach herself at anytime, anywhere.

I began coaching a woman in early August 2008.  She had just completed the “Know Your Numbers Campaign” biometric screening conducted by the corporate MinuteClinic at CVS Caremark Customer Support Center.  She received screening for total cholesterol, LDL, HDL, triglycerides, BP, diabetes and BMI.  She tested above normal for cholesterol, BP, diabetes and BMI.  Because she was in a high risk category, she was offered various interventions, including face to face coaching with an onsite Intrinsic Coach®.  She chose to take advantage of Intrinsic Coaching® and so I called her and scheduled 30 minute weekly meetings which began on August 1, 2008.  This is her story.

The first half of the first meeting with her was all Intrinsic Coaching® and I was pleased that I did not fall back into my old habits of “information gathering” and then telling her what to do.  She came prepared with a written copy of her biometric results but I never asked to see them.  After introductions and a brief explanation of Intrinsic Coaching®, my first question to her was, “Given all that you learned from your screening at MinuteClinic, what was it that stood out as most important to you?”  She immediately said that her health was very important because she wanted to “be around” for her family.  She then summarized the results of her screening without giving exact numbers and said she knew that even though her cholesterol and BP were elevated, she knew that her weight was what she felt was important because it was “dragging her down and affecting everything she does.”  She talked about past attempts at weight loss and said she knows what she should do, but just couldn’t do it.  She said every time she went off a diet, she felt like she had failed and things just got worse.   She mentioned feeling like a failure and that every time she ate the wrong food, she felt bad.  It had become a vicious cycle that she wished she could change.

With that I then asked her, “Take yourself to a moment when you are in the cafeteria and you are choosing to eat, what is it you really want in that very moment?” After several moments of thinking, she said, “I’m not sure what I really want in that moment but I know I am not hungry and it is not food!”  She said she realized she was eating for reasons other than hunger and asked “Why am I like this?”  I saw this as an unanswered question and asked her if she would like to spend time in our coaching sessions exploring her question of eating for reasons other than hunger.  She emphatically said “Yes!” 

Although we went on to explore some E and S thinking around the hunger scale, physical signs of hunger, and asking herself the question 'what am I really wanting' before she eats, her intrinsic thinking was definitely informing her extrinsic and systemic thinking.   We ended the session with her stating that she wanted to spend time before our next appointment simply asking herself if she is hungry when she eats.   My “want for” statements for her were:  “I want for you greater insight into your question “What do I want when I eat if it is not food?  I also want for you the good health you are seeking so you will have the time you want with your family.”

Since that first session, my coachee and I have met 7 more times and she is making tremendous progress.  Our sessions always start with me asking what she wants to discuss and she usually wants to give a review of her week with examples of how she is applying her new learning.  She always has a scenario from her week that she highlights – some she was proud of and some she was not.  When she describes a situation, I ask her what she learned that was important and this often leads to zooming in more on what she really wants when she eats.  She has described wanting peace of mind, time by herself, and to be a good example for her children.  Overall she is learning that she eats because she wants to feel better.  When she realizes she is not hungry, she is now able to ask herself “What do I want that would make me feel better right now?”  She knows that she is so accustomed to meeting her needs with food, that eating is the first thing she reaches for when she wants to feel better.  She knows it took a long time to develop this thinking, so she understands it will take a long time to undo it as well.  She is learning to eliminate the words “good, bad, failed, should, etc..  She no longer feels bad about her choices and she stated in our last session that she feels much happier and proud of herself.  We are also using some strategies in the coaching sessions that will help her focus on whether or not she's hungry but only after her intrinsic thinking leads her there and I always ask permission.

I think one of the most important things that this coachee has received is that she has the power to think better about her choices and this will be invaluable as she begins to coach herself.  Practically speaking, when she wants to eat, she now has the ability to ask herself “What is it I really want right now – what will satisfy me now?”   When she isn't hungry but finds herself reaching for food, she has learned to ask herself “What am I wanting now?  My old habit was to reach for food but I’m not hungry so what is it I truly want at this moment besides food?”  Although this is just a start, this ability to coach herself at any time, anywhere will last!  We have discussed that we all change from moment to moment and her choices will be different at different times.  She’s planning on continuing our bi-weekly sessions for the next 2 months as long as our schedules allow; my 30 minutes with her are the highlight of my week!

Claudine Reilly, RN, MA, COHN-S, CHES, Certified Intrinsic Coach®
Wellness Manager
CVS Caremark

As a result of new thinking, I can move forward with life again.

This past summer I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Five weeks after radiation, just when I thought I was through everything, I came down with a staph infection which has been going on for seven weeks now.  I had been getting so frustrated, upset and thinking that I couldn’t move forward with life until I was healed and put it fully behind me.  Lucky for me I’ve been learning Intrinsic Coaching®.

Intrinsic Coaching® has helped me dramatically through this experience.  It taught me that by asking myself what I truly wanted, I can move forward with life again.  Over the weekend as I was taking a walk outside I was thinking about how I really just want to move on.  It suddenly occurred to me that I didn’t need to wait in order to move forward. I thought, “Why do I need to wait? I can choose to emotionally let go of this experience.  I can feel fully alive today, regardless of what might be happening physically to my breast.” With this new thinking I felt such renewed strength and a sense of liberation. 

I feel wonderful.  I feel like now I can get better.  It’s so helpful to apply Intrinsic Coaching® to myself. The methodology teaches us to stimulate new thinking and move forward. Here we are learning about intrinsic thinking and the whole time I’m thinking to myself I want to move forward from my diagnosis, but I was creating a big obstacle for myself with my own thinking.  Now that I have that new thinking I can move forward.  I can choose to move forward right now. I don’t need to wait.  I’ve realized I’ve been holding myself back all this time.  Having that “ah-ha” moment has been really exciting and just liberating. I feel like a new person.

Chris Hyson, M.Ed.
Director of Health and Wellness Education
Cabrini College
Radnor, PA

Intrinsic Coaching® leads to endless possibilities.

With Intrinsic Coaching® I find myself feeling more patient with people, allowing them time and the space to find their thoughts.  By focusing on what they want and exploring these wants I’m no longer rushing through the conversation and am really employing a spirit of service, which is definitely much more satisfying to me and I’m sure to the person I’m talking with.  I’m finding that with what I’m learning it’s a shift in attitude and impacts the way I talk with people.  Seeing the shift in my own attitude, my own thinking and having more satisfying conversations has been really neat for me.  I’m find that Intrinsic Coaching® leads to endless possibilities.  The more I incorporate the principles of Intrinsic Coaching® the more it becomes a way of life, where I’m not having to concentrate on how to do it.  It’s becoming more natural, and this is what is leading to possibilities.  It’s working in my life, professionally, with personal relationships, and within myself.

Chris Hyson, M.Ed.
Director of Health and Wellness Education
Cabrini College
Radnor, PA

The boundaries of Intrinsic Coaching® are endless...it's encompassing my life.

The more I’m learning about Intrinsic Coaching®, the more I’m seeing how I use it in my every day life.  For instance, my nephew was over at the house and a bunch of the kids were playing on a huge trampoline with an enclosure.  They were all jumping on the trampoline, taking turns and at one point I noticed that they were just jumping, so I thought, “Wouldn’t it be fun to get everybody to do something else on the trampoline? Like seat drops, where you sit on your bottom and stand back up.” My nephew was really struggling to do this and so I was helping him and explaining to him how to do it.  He was getting better every single time but I kept verbally moving him along as he mastered one skill and then needed more assistance.

At one point I had given him all the assistance he needed and I thought, “Something’s wrong.”   Even as I said it out loud it had finally occurred to me that even though it was on a trampoline, this was a coaching moment.  At first I thought it was something with his body and then I realized what was wrong was me and the approach I was taking.  I realized the thing I needed to do was be quiet and let him pay attention to what he was noticing because I’d given him all the instruction and by going on and on I was just paralyzing him.  The more I was quiet and asked him to keep going with what he was noticing the more he progressed and finally got it.  It was because he was listening to his own body and paying attention to what he needed to do.

This interaction with my nephew was such a powerful learning for me.  Like so many of my colleagues here, I don’t have a lot of formal coaching conversations because I’m not coaching clients, but I do work with people and I interact with them on a daily basis.  I’m realizing the boundaries of Intrinsic Coaching® are endless and I’m finding that it’s encompassing my life, from everything to listening to my husband, speaking with my children, my nephew, my relationship with others, seeing an appreciation for the people that are around me. Instead of being impatient, I’m really taking the time to look deeper.  It’s just amazing to me what I’m seeing. 

Lori Maggin
Wellness and Fitness Educator
Bethesda, MD

 

Now that I'm an Intrinsic Coach®...

These are some things I've learned that I want to continue to build upon:

• Turning down my internal dialogue and genuinely listening allows me to work with the coachee's thinking instead of my own.

• Knowing that I don’t have the answer for people. They have their own answers and that's what I want to work with.

• That it is not about what I want for people but what they want for themselves.

• Knowing that people have everything they need inside of them and to offer the support I can give so they can find the strengths that they always had.

• The ability to turn down my internal dialogue and really see the other person in ways I didn’t before and letting them find their way which is the best way.

• I learned more patience with others and myself, giving more time to be silent and think. Change does not necessarily happen immediately, so give them the time they need as it’s an ongoing process.

• Not focusing on the negative, but instead focusing on forward moving questions.

• I continue to see that everyone has the capability to think intrinsically. I used to put people in boxes, now I see they are all capable of thinking intrinsically.

• Allowing people to figure out for themselves with forward thinking instead of being stuck in conversation. I focus more on what they want versus what they don’t want.

These are some important changes I'm seeing in myself as a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching®:

• I’m more aware when I talk to people. I used to cut people off and try to fix them or their situation, but now I serve people, listen more and ask questions more.

• I used to procrastinate because I couldn’t make up my mind. Now when I feel the inability to decide I ask myself what I want and figure it out.

• I’m more open to what other people have to say and what they are needing or wanting from kids to clients. I know I don’t have the answers for them. I’m less judgmental now.

• Feeling more accomplished and efficient. Asking myself what do I want simplifies life on many levels.

• I tend to appreciate the uniqueness in everyone. Makes it easier to view people as capable, creative and complete.

• I’m making better decisions and don’t dwell on it so long anymore because I’m more confident in my decisions and see myself as capable, creative and complete.

• I’m not second guessing myself. Now I ask what is really important right now and take away things that are not important. I’m decluttering my life.

• I listen better to people.

• I live more in the moment. Change builds on itself so just decide today about what is important and you don’t need to worry about next week as it will build.

This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Tracy Larsen.  Congratulations to all!

Taking an Intrinsic Coaching® approach proves to be very powerful for both the coach and coachee.

I’m finding as people get to better understand Intrinsic Coaching® they’re more open to exploring other areas of their life.  I have been working with a coachee on a health issue.  During one of our conversations the coachee, whom is a main leader in our organization, had a challenging work situation and I said, “If you want, we can coach on that a little and try and help you find a little more clarity and get some better thinking on that.  Would you want to do that?” He agreed it would be beneficial.  And in that conversation the coachee had some new thinking that came to a relationship between him and his supervisor.  As I listened to him, I offered him something I was noticing.   It was something as simple as, “It sounds like there’s more there that you’re thinking.”  He stopped, thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah.”  He went on from there and rea lized he wanted to have a conversation with his supervisor but was apprehensive to.  We continued from there and explored what he was wanting until he thought he was at a good place.  At that place you could tell there was an ah-ha moment for him when that intrinsic snapped into place and he was seeing things more clearly. 
 
Until recently, I hadn’t seen him for a while. He came in and we were talking about the conversation and he said, “You know, I want to go back and share with you a little bit about what happened.” He continued, “It gave me the courage to have the conversation I needed to have.” He was so grateful for that coaching because he was really able to think more about the situation, gain clarity in what he was wanting and move forward from there.  It was neat to hear how valuable the conversation was for him to get clear on that and how it gave him the courage to have a difficult conversation. He even said, “You didn’t judge me, you didn’t tell me I had to do anything.”  It was really his conversation, his thinking, his outcome.  He owned it. 
 
Listening to him and the conversation we had, I know what an impact it had on the organization and probably the fifty other employees that are going to benefit from him being able to move forward.  Taking an Intrinsic Coaching® approach to our conversation proved to be very powerful, both for me and for him.

Stephanie Downs, MS, Intrinsic Coach®
City of Ames, Health Promotion Coordinator