Totally Coached, Inc.

When you expand thinking, an ending is just a beginning...

I work with an alternative program in the high school made up of primarily boys.  Each year with my final exams I try to be fairly creative.  What I decided to do this year was ask them to reflect on what they learned about themselves throughout the school year.   In preparing the final exam I used the phrase that ‘I’ll be there during the final to help you expand your thinking.’  I’ve never used that phrase until now.  That came from learning Intrinsic Coaching® so I kind of chuckled that I used that.  All that I’m learning with Intrinsic Coaching® is sinking in, in a really natural way for me.  It feels very genuine and that excites me.

As the students took the final, they were quiet.  And these are students whom I’ve worked with all year and have a tendency to get distracted.   Some would ask me questions and then I would say, “I really want you to think through this.  I want you to take that thought and make it bigger for yourself.  What comes up for you as you think about bigger?”  Then they were nice and quiet and were thinking.  These are kids who will barely write a paragraph or two and really argue about it.   When they turned in their papers, I had a couple of pages from all of them.  So it was exciting.

One of the final components of the exam is that after they clarified what they learned about themselves throughout the year, I asked them to look forward towards September.  I asked, “With all of this in mind, with what you’ve discovered, what are you wanting for yourself moving towards September?”  I haven’t read all the exams yet, but of those that I did, some discovered that they learned that they actually do have motivation to do things.  One particular student mentioned his weight and discovered that it’s important for him to be healthy.  He wants to be motivated and talked about how his weight loss translates into his education so it was just really cool. 

Another student talked with me before taking the final about different things he had learned during the school year.  We talked about the day he realized he was being a bully and what he learned about himself when he had that realization.  We talked about his attendance.  He’s my star attendee regardless of all his other issues.  I asked him, “What is it that you’ve learned about yourself about coming to school each day because not every student has that as a strength?”  It was great because he said, “Well, my mother taught me that I had to do that.”  I asked him to expand on that and what it was that was important to him about that. So, it was really a great experience.  This was a kid who started the final exam with, “Can’t I just take a zero?” and after talking with him then sat down and carefully wrote his thoughts.  I can’t wait to read his paper because my guess is that he expanded his thinking on that fact that it is important to him to respect his mother and do what she asks.  

Again, I’m really looking forward to reading each of the papers.  It is my hope that in asking questions to expand thinking, even though the school year is coming to an end, it is actually just a beginning to something new for each of these students. 

Elaine Mount, M.Ed., NCBTMB, IC®
Program Coordinator, Collaborative Education Group
Greenfield High School
Massachusetts

 

Learnings from Leaders: As a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching®...

-I've learned that this is a process and a way of thinking.  It has and will forever impact how I talk with people, giving me a different and better way of looking at things and working with people.  As a result I am calmer and I am grateful for learning this!

-I've learned that silence is an important thing and is an opportunity for people to find themselves and their thinking.  I used to fill in the silence, but now recognize that by doing that I was interfering with important thinking.  I now honor the silence and learn so much more about people because of it.

-I want to continue to learn and grow.  Intrinsic Coaching® isn't something I can leave behind (nor would I want to) because it's a part of who I am now.  Learning Intrinsic Coaching® and using Intrinsic Coaching® has profound results.  It's a way of thinking that brings clarity and as a result, hope.

-This series has been great!  Very helpful both professionally and personally.  I've learned how important it is to get clarity in my own and others thinking.  Too often we get stuck in the coulds and shoulds, but with Intrinsic Coaching® I have a way of moving forward.  To gain clarity in what you are wanting is truly a gift!

-This is something I will take with me everyday.  I won't be without it.  Because of Intrinsic Coaching® I've learned I can stay calm and manage myself so I can develop others.  Intrinsic Coaching® has helped me be a better person, has helped my team and has helped others around me.  It's changed my life!

-I'm taking with me so much!  Most importantly, the ability to honor the unfolding (for myself and others), seeing people as people (and the unique person they are) rather than the problem they bring, and devaluing my thinking in order to value the other person's thinking more.  I've experienced such growth and learning and am thankful for the experience.

-I've learned a new way of listening, putting aside my ideas and solutions and really working with that person or client's ideas and solutions.  I've learned by making the choice there is always so much more to work with than I can ever know and I'm always surprised.  What I've learned with Intrinsic Coaching® has impacted both my work and personal relationships.

-I value the process of unfolding!  I've experienced the benefits for myself and have seen what a difference it makes for others.  I want to take this into my life and always carry with me the attitude of service.

This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals/leaders participated in the ICDS-Organizational Coaching and was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Jodi Sivon.  Congratulations to all!

Now that I'm an Intrinsic Coach® Leader...

What I have learned:

• Intrinsic Coaching® helps me with my own integrity. It’s a state of being for me. By living it, it can catch on to others.
• I’ve learned the importance of capable, creative and complete. Once you grasp that, everything else falls into place. Intrinsic Coaching® gives me such a peace in my heart knowing that I’m serving people. It’s one of the best gifts I can offer them.
• It’s amazing what Intrinsic Coaching® has done for me. It’s revolutionized me! I’m thinking differently.
• I want to use Intrinsic Coaching® in all aspects of my life, both professionally and personally. With Intrinsic Coaching® I’ve seen how asking ‘what do you want’ type of questions can bring such clarity to choices and decisions.
• I have become a better person as a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching®. I have a servant’s heart and Intrinsic Coaching® has given me an amazing perspective of serving. I’ve been able to shift my need to fix people to one of truly serving them and honoring their thinking as it unfolds.
• Intrinsic Coaching® has given me a new way to work with people and help them find their best thinking. I no longer feel like I have to have all of the answers. It’s also given me a new way of thinking for myself. Asking myself ‘what do I want’ brings a new perspective for me.
• Intrinsic Coaching® is a personal investment. It’s been such a personal journey and growing opportunity for me.
• This has been such a time of growth. I hope to bring Intrinsic Coaching® into the residency program where I work as well as continue to utilize it in my personal life.

This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals (Organizational Coaching) was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Jodi Sivon.  Congratulations to all!

Now that I'm an Intrinsic Coach® Leader...

What I have as a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching®:

• I’m a better listener as a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching®.  I’m able to listen to others’ thinking and what they’re wanting for themselves instead of giving my ideas and directing them down a path I want them to go.  Intrinsic Coaching® makes for more productive conversations.
• Learning this has been profound.  I was always taught you should know the answer and tell people what to do, and in a clinical environment when you are diagnosing that is good.  But when it comes to developing people doing that minimizes their contributions.  As a result of Intrinsic Coaching® I’m more supportive and have less stress interacting with my staff because I’m able to help them find their own answers and what they’re wanting for themselves.  It really has been a life altering both professionally and personally.
• I learned way more than I ever expected.  Learning Intrinsic Coaching® has altered my whole way of thinking, has changed my conversations with people and changed the way I approach situations for the better.
• What’s been really valuable for me is viewing people as capable, creative and complete and asking them what they want.  By exploring the want you learn so much more.  I’m looking forward to constant growth professionally and personally.
• Intrinsic Coaching® really does work!  It allows people freedom to go where they want and discover things for themselves.  I want to use it in all aspects of my life.

This group of Intrinsic Coach® professionals completed the Intrinsic Coach® Development Series for Leaders.  Congratulations to all!

Switching from problem solving to searching for what's truly important...

I was in a business meeting with a group of folks looking at operations and who’s managing what. We were talking about how we can help each other and what’s working versus what’s not working. One person was talking about a problem and so I asked her what she really wanted with that. It was so funny because she paused and said she didn’t know. Everyone else jumped in and tried to answer for her because they weren’t comfortable with the silence even though she was trying to search for her own answer. I took an Intrinsic Coaching® approach, gave her time to think and brought it back to her by asking things like, “What would you like? What’s important to you here? What would make you feel good about your job? What would a good day look like?” It was interesting to see that in our culture we all want the quick answer and aren’t comfortable when people don’t have an answer and there is silence. As people search sometimes they don’t know what they want. When I ask people what they want I find myself being taken in directions that you would have had no idea about and I’m reminded of the concept of people being capable, creative and complete. There’s this whole piece to the person that you could never begin to guess if you don’t give them the time. We can’t begin to address anyone’s health issues until we begin to address what is most important to them and let them really think about it. It’s taking a step back from the automatic problem solving to one that involves searching for what’s truly important

Mary Deary- Weiss MSN, MBA
Director, Clinical Development UM/CM Programs
CIGNA HealthCare.

Listening like an Intrinsic Coach® can enrich conversations...

Intrinsic Coaching® creates the ability to have an interaction with someone where you help them self-actualize and discover what is important to them. One thing that really stands out is the exercise of listening. Instead of trying to plan my approach and plan everything that I’m going to say to that person, I can sit back and listen. Really listening to what people want to do, really listening to what other things are going on in their life and having them actually listen to themselves as they are talking enable them to find their own way. Taking that ability to listen into everyday life can enrich pretty much every conversation you are involved in…whether you are a coach, a friend, a coworker, a spouse, a parent or whatever you are. Taking the time to listen is very different and produces powerful outcomes.

Mary Deary- Weiss MSN, MBA
Director, Clinical Development UM/CM Programs
CIGNA HealthCare.

As a result of Intrinsic Coaching® I am thinking more intrinsically now.

As a result of Intrinsic Coaching® I am thinking more intrinsically now.  When I move my thinking into the intrinsic dimension I get a feeling of calmness inside of me.  When I shift myself into the intrinsic I feel like I don’t have anything to prove.  And when there’s nothing to prove it’s easier to manage yourself.  Good things keep coming out of this.

Craig Baranovic
Department Chair for Associates Degree Program
Remington College
Maple Heights, OH

I made a conscious choice to have a different conversation...

I had a student who was suspended because of her behavior that wanted to talk with me.  This is a student in the past for whatever reason we’ve rubbed each other the wrong way and I would have told her what to do.   I made a conscious choice to do it differently this time by taking an Intrinsic Coaching® approach.  I kept managing myself and choosing to regard her as capable, creative and complete throughout the conversation.  I asked her what her goals were, what was important and what she wanted from our conversation.  After about two minutes she was doing most of the talking and coming up with a lot of things.  This is a student who doesn’t smile very much, but she actually started to smile and look like she was enjoying what was going on.  I felt a shift occur in her.  I continued asking, ‘What do you want from this conversation?  What goals do you have for yourself?” until she gained clarity and understanding around what we were up against in terms of her school and work schedule.  We came to her best thinking and the best solution for her that will enable her to be happy and not feel the need to be defensive when she walks through the door anymore.

Craig Baranovic
Department Chair for Associate Degree Programs
Remington College
Maple Heights, OH

Focusing on the goals rather than the problems proved to be a win-win for both my staff and me.

Previously, I felt that Intrinsic Coaching® needed to be administered with an all or none philosophy in order to make an impact.  Now, I have come to realize that Intrinsic Coaching® can be just as effective when working with just one of its concepts.  This week I had to work with my staff on overcoming obstacles they were facing and thought that focusing on the goal would prove to be the best approach.  I had two employees who were frustrated with a client who had asked them to complete a proposal in a very short amount of time.  Therefore, I had set up a conference call to work through all of the details.  When I first started the call I sensed the staff was upset by the situation, therefore I allowed some time for “clearing” to express their feelings about the situation. Once they all participated in the clearing, I noticed the intrinsic change started to unfold.  I realized that the emotion, negativity and frustration disappeared and my staff went into a mode of ‘let’s tackle this.’  I immediately reacted and focused the staff on the goals of the situation instead of the problems.  By focusing on the goals, my staff started to believe in what they wanted and the fact that completing this proposal in a short duration was attainable.   I simply directed the conversation by asking, “Given what you’ve been saying, where are you now in terms of completing this proposal or what else do you want me to understand about completing this proposal?”  Additionally, by focusing on the goals we were able to quickly go through all of the obstacles.  More importantly, my staff actually developed all of the solutions for overcoming the obstacles without any assistance from me.  I just merely facilitated the conversation and asked the questions.  The bonus to the entire discussion was the buy-in I received when they announced collectively, ‘we can do this.’  They left the meeting feeling empowered and were actually excited about writing the proposal.  Clearly, focusing on the goals rather than the problems proved to be a win-win for both my staff and me.  They left the meeting ready to conquer the world and I just had a meeting that I thought was going to take 2 hours only take 45 minutes. 

Anthony J. Scaglione, MA
Chief Operating Officer
Quick Fit Products, LLC
Douglassville, PA

With Intrinsic Coaching®, the ideas the group generated were astonishing...

I facilitated a small group learning session over an afternoon with four family medicine resident physicians.  Their task was to develop a lifestyle medicine clinic (which actually will be implemented in our setting.)  During our time together I chose to take an Intrinsic Coaching® approach.  After setting the stage, I began not with my expertise, but with a question posed to them individually, “In moving forward, what is most important for you?” 

Hearing one another’s responses was a powerful entry into the collaborative brainstorming ahead.  I continually made the choice to see each of them as capable, creative, and complete and viewed my role as primarily ‘serving’ them.  The ideas that surfaced were truly astonishing to me.  This is an area in which I perceive myself to be an ‘expert’ and there were a number of uncomfortable moments where I wanted to jump in and share my expertise.  However, I practiced self-management and stayed with the intrinsic space, asking them what they were seeing, etc. 

Toward the end of the three hours they had completely filled the white board with ideas and I knew that to move forward they’d need to focus on what’s important.  So I asked them to share individually the concept in a one-liner—to share the concept as if they were describing the plan to a fellow resident.  This was the astonishing part; not only were they completely creative and capable in their thinking, generating a wide range of great ideas, each of them was able to concisely describe the project, in a very articulate manner.  I sincerely feel that these four residents will be advocates and leaders of this project, an invaluable intangible benefit.  With Intrinsic Coaching®, not only was the afternoon a valuable use of time, it was incredibly fun as well.

Kathleen Jones, MA
Lifestyle Medicine Coordinator
Family Medicine Residency Program
Poudre Valley Health System
Fort Collins, CO.