Totally Coached, Inc.

Learnings from Leaders: As a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching®...

-I've learned that this is a process and a way of thinking.  It has and will forever impact how I talk with people, giving me a different and better way of looking at things and working with people.  As a result I am calmer and I am grateful for learning this!

-I've learned that silence is an important thing and is an opportunity for people to find themselves and their thinking.  I used to fill in the silence, but now recognize that by doing that I was interfering with important thinking.  I now honor the silence and learn so much more about people because of it.

-I want to continue to learn and grow.  Intrinsic Coaching® isn't something I can leave behind (nor would I want to) because it's a part of who I am now.  Learning Intrinsic Coaching® and using Intrinsic Coaching® has profound results.  It's a way of thinking that brings clarity and as a result, hope.

-This series has been great!  Very helpful both professionally and personally.  I've learned how important it is to get clarity in my own and others thinking.  Too often we get stuck in the coulds and shoulds, but with Intrinsic Coaching® I have a way of moving forward.  To gain clarity in what you are wanting is truly a gift!

-This is something I will take with me everyday.  I won't be without it.  Because of Intrinsic Coaching® I've learned I can stay calm and manage myself so I can develop others.  Intrinsic Coaching® has helped me be a better person, has helped my team and has helped others around me.  It's changed my life!

-I'm taking with me so much!  Most importantly, the ability to honor the unfolding (for myself and others), seeing people as people (and the unique person they are) rather than the problem they bring, and devaluing my thinking in order to value the other person's thinking more.  I've experienced such growth and learning and am thankful for the experience.

-I've learned a new way of listening, putting aside my ideas and solutions and really working with that person or client's ideas and solutions.  I've learned by making the choice there is always so much more to work with than I can ever know and I'm always surprised.  What I've learned with Intrinsic Coaching® has impacted both my work and personal relationships.

-I value the process of unfolding!  I've experienced the benefits for myself and have seen what a difference it makes for others.  I want to take this into my life and always carry with me the attitude of service.

This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals/leaders participated in the ICDS-Organizational Coaching and was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Jodi Sivon.  Congratulations to all!

Learnings from Leaders

As a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching®, this is what I have:

• Learning Intrinsic Coaching® has changed my whole thought process. It adds a new dynamic to my conversations and engages people in a positive manner. Intrinsic Coaching® offers a stress-free way of life!
• Fragile thinking, forward moving, internal dialogue, best thinking, movement…those are a few important words that come to mind when I think about what I learned. Intrinsic Coaching® is so applicable across the board. I’d like to see many more organizations become intrinsic.
• Intrinsic Coaching® works no matter where you use it. It’s universal and that’s what I like about it.
• I want this to be a part of my everyday life. With Intrinsic Coaching® I have a way of engaging in difficult times and helping people find what’s important so they/we can move forward.
• I’m more excited to have conversations! Knowing I don’t have to have all of the answers brings such a sense of relief. It’s freeing knowing I can now focus on the other person and support them in finding their best thinking (instead of offering my own).
• It’s exciting to think how forward moving an organization can become with Intrinsic Coaching®! What stands out the most for me are the core elements of Intrinsic Coaching® and learning to appreciate the value of the unfolding. It’s fun to see it’s applications in so many aspects of my life. For me, my goal is for this to be a way of being.
• Learning Intrinsic Coaching® has taken the pressure off in dealing with difficult situations and has been a stress reducer for me. I no longer worry about saying the wrong thing because I’m now listening and eliciting people’s thinking. With Intrinsic Coaching® I can set people up for finding their best thinking.

This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals participated in the ICDS-Organizational Coaching and was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Jodi Sivon. Congratulations to all!

Leaning on Intrinsic Coaching® During the Interview Process...

I've been interviewing for an assistant because I need one badly.  Right now I'm doing just initial phone interviews and with these interviews have taken an Intrinsic Coaching® approach.  I've noticed that Intrinsic Coaching® has helped decrease apprehensiveness in the interviewees and for myself. 

I had been asking some of the typical interview questions such as, "What are your weaknesses? What are your strengths? And When was the last time you had conflict with a co-worker and how did you resolve it?"  Some of the questions seemed somewhat loaded and complicated for people to answer directly.  I could hear the candidates getting apprehensive and even though I'm the employer, I didn't want that energy for them. 

So I encouraged them to take their time and found myself leaning on Intrinsic Coaching®.  I created a space where they felt safe and began asking questions, such as 'what did you learn from that' and 'what is that telling you about yourself' that opened up their thinking and also enabled me to learn more from them.  They were really intellectual and bright people.  I didn't mean to coach them, it just came out...these great coaching questions!

The interviews not only went smoothly, they were also very productive, more so than ones I had in the past.  I think it was because the people I was interviewing were given this safe space.  I gave them the silence that they needed to understand that they didn't have be nervous, they could take the time to find their thinking.  Even though it took a minute more to get their words together, it was the right thing that they wanted to say and it was easy to move along from that point. 

I set an hour for each of these interviews and each one wrapped up within a half an hour.  It worked out great!  This experience is telling me that I'm an Intrinsic Coach®!

Jazell Andujar
Certified Wellness Specialist, Intrinsic Coach®
Creating Wellness Center, NY Family Chiropractic

 

Taking an Intrinsic Coaching® approach to a team retreat...

I wanted to let you and the class know what an incredible team retreat we had.  I wanted this retreat to be different and knew that taking an Intrinsic Coaching® approach to the retreat would be very effective.  I only placed two questions to be viewed throughout the weekend...What is important to you today?   What is important to the team today?  We talked about this while we hiked, sat by the fire at night and at the river during the day.  The conversations were rich and very filled with insight.  The level of "safety" was mentioned by the group.  Respect and understanding of any viewpoint was evident.  What a team!

The last morning I asked the question -  what are you taking away from this weekend and moving forward into your life?   I thought there would be a short conversation but it poured forward for 1.5 hours filled with incredible take aways for moving forward.  I received calls all the next week describing how people felt more focused and directed their attention to the goals we had discussed as a team. 

Memories from this retreat are running very strong as there was such beauty and richness to our time together!

I am absolutely sold on Intrinsic Coaching®!  I did very little work other than recording the conversation notes and the outcome was amazing.   

Beth Frydlewicz, MPA, Intrinsic Coach®
System Director
Corporate Volunteer Services
Beaumont Hospitals
Royal Oak, MI

Listening with a Spirit of Service showed me that if I were ever in need, I'd want the guy with the pink hair to be the one who showed up to help.

The beauty of Intrinsic Coaching® is that is so aligned with my spiritual beliefs. As one makes the choice to view individuals as capable, creative and complete a change takes place in the Heart. We make the choice to see each person’s uniqueness, preciousness and completeness. We begin to have a heart of compassion and a spirit of service toward others. When we look beyond the exterior status, physical attributes, style and the “merely apparent” we discover amazing people!

My example this week did not begin with me listening with a spirit of service but when I did a transformation took place. I arrived at my workplace a few minutes late on a rainy Tuesday morning. I walked into my office to find twenty emails and eight voicemails waiting for me. I took a deep breath and a sip of hot coffee and dove halfheartedly into my work. The first voicemail was from a client we have done quite a bit of recruiting for and the relationship has been a bit rocky due to some slip ups on our part and some low pay rates on their part. My contact at this company was very upset that one of the associates we had placed there in a temporary position was still there. Apparently she had left a message the night before that he was to be fired, but needless to say, no one in our office had received the message or terminated the employee.

I decided to go in person to the client and tell “Kit” that he was being let go. A hard enough job was made a bit more complicated when Kit told me that he was dropped off and did not have any way to get home. So that is where my own lesson began. What was merely apparent about Kit is that he is of Asian heritage, has spiky, hot pink hair tied back with a head band, lip and tongue piercings, and purple flip flops, but I was about to discover that which was “not merely apparent” over the course of our 25 minute car ride.

As I sat next to Kit in the car and we started to talk I realized what a perfect opportunity it was to make the Choice to regard Kit as capable, creative and complete. As I did this, I became much more open to listening to Kit.  I thought about listening with a spirit of service, rather than jumping in with advice about work place do’s and don’ts. Kit began to pour out his heart about how he feels different and how hard it is to fit in to conventional society. He shared that his dream is to become a paramedic so that he can help people. He shared about his upbringing and his family and how much he wants to make them proud.

I gently encouraged Kit to think about what he wants. He said that what he really wants is to feel accepted and respected. He spoke of his desire to go to school and pursue his dream. He wants more than a minimum wage job and did not feel that he was valued at his job. While I am not sure how Kit felt after our drive, I know that I felt very good about it. I can see that he has so much compassion and tenderness in his soul. I know that if I were in need of help, I would want Kit to be the one helping me….pink hair and all.

That experience of intentionally choosing to make the choice and listen with a spirit of service, encouraged my heart and hopefully encouraged Kit to make the next step toward his goals.

-Corrie Merten, Recruiter, Express Employment Professionals, Chanhassen, MN

Making the Choice allowed me to see more than what's merely apparent.

This week I made the Choice to view the individuals I came in contact with as capable, creative and complete. Although, I must admit that this is not quite as easy as it sounds. I had to continually remind myself to reinforce the Choice. It is actually more natural to allow negative thought processes emerge as situations arise that counter the idea that individuals are capable, creative and complete. It requires effort to alter one’s thinking and chose to view people in holistically.

One of the concepts from the first week material that impacted me the most is the idea of what is “not merely apparent”. As I contemplated what this concept involves, a bible verse came to mind from 1Samuel 16:7. “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the Heart.” Our human tendency is to look at the outward, extrinsic so that we can categorize and label what we see. But if we are able to transform our thinking and see that which is not merely apparent we can see the true individual for whom he or she is. One of the goals of my life is to be more “Christ-like” in my interactions with others. To me this means appreciating the individuality, uniqueness and preciousness of people. It is not our job to judge others but to value and love others.

My goal was put to the test this week at work. My position as a recruiter for an outsourcing firm is fertile ground for applying Intrinsic Coaching® principles. I interview approximately 10-15 candidates per week and place about four in new positions. It is very rewarding when the “fit” is right and both candidate and client are happy. But my example is with a particular candidate. This woman came into to apply for office service positions. Her resume was well done and she has over 15 years experience in payroll and accounting. But from the moment she walked in I noticed that she did not present herself well. She did not make good eye contact; she had a weak handshake, and spoke very quietly. She was not exactly the picture of an easily place able candidate, especially in today’s job market. During the interview I asked this candidate my standard behavioral questions and she did not have confident ready answers. Just as I was ready to close up our interview, I thought about the Choice and seeing what is not merely apparent.

Once I made the Choice to view her as capable, creative and complete, something changed. It may have been my own reaction toward her…but she started to open up. She said that her husband committed suicide and that her son who is in prison was let out for the funeral but attended the service in shackles under supervision by a watch guard. Her grief was so thick and palpable. As she spoke, my heart began to soften and I was able to identify with her and the grief she is experiencing. Her body language relaxed once she opened up to me and she looked into my eyes. We made a connection in that moment!

Had I not put the Choice into action, my encounter with this woman would have ended with me thinking that she was not place able due to my perceived view of her extrinsically. She would have likely left my office feeling overlooked, misunderstood, rushed and/or distressed. Had this woman and I not made the intrinsic connection, I would not feel as compelled to advocate for her in this tight market. She may have not have felt comfortable emailing me to thank me for the interview.

The decision to make the Choice and see more than what was merely apparent allowed us to connect with one another. She was able to feel comfortable and express herself. Once she did, a confidence emerged and her eyes lit up. I am more motivated now to help her find a position that will meet her needs at this time in her life.

-Corrie Merten, Recruiter, Express Employment Professionals, Chanhassen, MN

Learning Intrinsic Coaching® has made me a better listener.

I have always thought of myself as a good listener and I found in using Intrinsic Coaching® I really wasn’t as good a listener as I thought I was.   I’m realizing now that I have become a more active listener. I listen with a spirit of service.  With Intrinsic Coaching® I don’t feel pressure to share information the way I might have done before and I can allow the pauses in conversations to be just that because I recognize work is happening. I find that the thinking continues outside the conversation and I find that very elating.  With Intrinsic Coaching® I’m learning that it’s not enough to have an ear and be quiet, but really to be active in the listening and allow your questions to come from that place.  I want to take an Intrinsic Coaching® approach with everybody and do it well, so that each person that I’m coaching or at least having a conversation with will get the benefit out of the conversation by allowing them to really develop their own thinking.

Annette E Cunningham BSc. MB;BS
Assistant Program Director
Organization for Srategic Development in Jamaica
Minneapolis, MN

Learnings from an Organizational Coaching Series...

Now that I'm an Intrinsic Coach®...

• I’m having more results because I’m self-managing and focusing on the coachee’s thinking which is important instead of my own.
• I’ve learned to really explore the goal.  A goal is what is closet to being fully alive and a strategy is just a way to get there.
• As a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching® I have a whole new way of thinking and it’s thinking I use in every aspect of my life.  I’ve seen Intrinsic Coaching® work and I know it will continue to work.  Learning this has given me a tool for life!
• In the beginning I thought this would be something I would use just in the field, but really you can use it in all aspects of life on a daily basis.
• I’ve learned to stop talking as much and listen more.  It makes coaching others so much easier and less draining on me.
• I will take away the choice to view people as capable, creative and complete.  My role is really to help people find their own best answers instead of telling them what to do.
• This has exceeded my expectations!  Intrinsic Coaching® has given me a different approach to working with people.  It’s a very effective approach regardless of what I’m doing, whether it’s in the workplace or at home.  Asking what do you want and helping someone find clarity is enormous and is truly serving others.  I feel I have a gift that keeps on giving.
• I’ve become a better listener and am able to view people as capable, creative and complete.  This has helped me understand people better and has helped improve relationships both professionally and personally.
• I have an awareness for the different types of thinking and have experienced a shift in thinking.  It’s hard to believe I didn’t think this way before!
• I’ve really learned to quiet my own inner dialogue and allow people to do the thinking which creates much better results.
• The greatest part of this journey is the results I’ve seen.  Focusing on the intrinsic provides more meaning to people’s results and their own life.
• Learning Intrinsic Coaching® has given me a way of listening and engaging others thinking.  It creates ownership which can go a long way in organizations.

This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals who partipated in the Organizational Coaching series was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Jodi Sivon.  Congratulations to all!

Now that I'm an Intrinsic Coach® Leader...

What I have learned:

• Intrinsic Coaching® helps me with my own integrity. It’s a state of being for me. By living it, it can catch on to others.
• I’ve learned the importance of capable, creative and complete. Once you grasp that, everything else falls into place. Intrinsic Coaching® gives me such a peace in my heart knowing that I’m serving people. It’s one of the best gifts I can offer them.
• It’s amazing what Intrinsic Coaching® has done for me. It’s revolutionized me! I’m thinking differently.
• I want to use Intrinsic Coaching® in all aspects of my life, both professionally and personally. With Intrinsic Coaching® I’ve seen how asking ‘what do you want’ type of questions can bring such clarity to choices and decisions.
• I have become a better person as a result of learning Intrinsic Coaching®. I have a servant’s heart and Intrinsic Coaching® has given me an amazing perspective of serving. I’ve been able to shift my need to fix people to one of truly serving them and honoring their thinking as it unfolds.
• Intrinsic Coaching® has given me a new way to work with people and help them find their best thinking. I no longer feel like I have to have all of the answers. It’s also given me a new way of thinking for myself. Asking myself ‘what do I want’ brings a new perspective for me.
• Intrinsic Coaching® is a personal investment. It’s been such a personal journey and growing opportunity for me.
• This has been such a time of growth. I hope to bring Intrinsic Coaching® into the residency program where I work as well as continue to utilize it in my personal life.

This group of newly graduated Intrinsic Coach® professionals (Organizational Coaching) was led by Intrinsic Coach® Mentor Jodi Sivon.  Congratulations to all!

Getting off the E & S loop and moving forward...

I have been working with a client who wants to open a new business and realized that we had been focusing on strategies versus goals and that's why the client was feeling stuck.  At one point in our conversation it felt like we were going in a circle, that extrinsic and systemic circle, where we weren't going anywhere.  And so I asked her, "When you think of opening your own business, what's important to you about that?"

At first there was silence (which I'm learning to be okay with) and finally, after some long pauses she said, "Whoa, I want to give back and contribute!" With that discovery she became really excited because she now understood that giving back and contributing was actually the goal and that that goal was bigger than just opening a business.  All of a sudden what she needed to do surrounding opening up a business was really easy to understand.  As soon as she got clear on what was important to her, she actually kind of let go of the 'figuring out' the business piece because she was seeing so many more possibilities for herself.

What this conversation taught me is when you push the extrinsic and systemic it becomes very problem focused--kind of like we're dodging what is actually going on. It's like being on a hamster wheel. There's comfort in the moving, but there's so much more discomfort in the fact that you're not going anywhere By focusing on the intrinsic you can get off of the hamster wheel and actually move forward.

Emily Hanka, MA
Owner, Phoenix Process Consultants
Minnetonka, Minnesota