Totally Coached, Inc.

When I work with an athlete I am always aware that I am working with a person, a whole person and not just a slice of that person.

When I work with an athlete I am always aware that I am working with a person, a whole person and not just a slice of that person. The whole person comes to the field or the gym or the track, not just their body but their mind and spirit as well and as an Intrinsic Coach®  knows, most of what they bring is beyond what I can see.

This was revealed to me again today in a beautiful way during a training session with one of the young people I train. She competes as a track athlete at the college level. She was originally recruited by her university as a sprinter but competed in a field event last year. When she returned from school this spring she asked if I would help her train to return to sprinting. Her love for sprinting is intrinsic in the truest sense of that word and to watch her run is a thing of beauty. It is power and grace and rhythm and you can see her come fully alive when she takes off.

A year away from the sprints has left her with a gap in her training. Closing the gap between where she was in May and where she wanted to be by this first week of August  was her goal.

We had our second to the last session today. It came at the end of a heavy week. We were working on her start and coming out of the blocks - a critical part of the race it’s a combination of power, technique, and relaxed concentration. It had been a long time since she had used the blocks so we began slowly finding her position and getting comfortable.

Then, it was time to give it a go. She rose up in the blocks and took off. Her postion was good, her technique was fine but there was no explosion. She walked back to the starting line, head down, frowning. I asked what she noticed and she said she felt no power, felt slow. I asked to to think for a moment about what she was wanting from the start. She said she wanted to apply so much force at the start that the blocks would literally be kicked out from under her.  She took a moment to picture that, then stepped back to the line and took another start. Again, her technique looked fine and I asked if that was closer to what she was wanting. She said no. Then her eyes started watering and she stared up at the sky.

I left the silence there for a little while as she wiped a way a sniffle. We walked past the starting line and then back and when we stopped I asked her to tell me what was important to her about being able to kick those blocks away. When she saw herself starting so powerfully what was she wanting in that moment? “ I want to be right there with the other girls, she said. I’m always fast on my relay splits and once I get up to speed I’m great but I’ve never been good with my start so my coaches wont take me seriously for the open events. I want to be able to compete in the open events. I just really love to race.” And then she cried a little more.

That little snippet of a conversation told me more than the video tape or watching her sprint, or tracking her times and numbers. I hate to sound like a cliche but the working arena grew infinitely in that moment because I was able to be in synch with her in a way that allowed us to work with more than what was “merely apparent”.

I just waited while she took a little walk. When she returned to the starting line she asked if she could try starting with her other leg forward. So she did. It was better. Then I asked to try starting without the blocks. She was faster. I asked what she was thinking given the differences. Her conclusion was that the problem was somewhere in the way she was in the blocks. “ And is that saying anything to you,” I asked? “ That I can get better at this,” she said. Then she started to smile, just a little.

We packed up, left the track for the weight room, finished a short workout then sat down to wrap up. We talked about what we could emphasize in the next training cycle and she began to see connections and how those connections would keep moving her toward her goal. Her goals and her thinking were starting to lead the way and the confidence and power and grace she shows on the track were showing themselves in her posture and her voice and her eyes. The starting blocks were just an obstacle. The important thing was the goal and the process and she was in charge of that because she could make choices that would help her get better.

Our conversation will continue, even when she is back at school and her thinking is continuing even as I write this. Knowing what she wants, and being in tune with that part of her that just really loves to race brings her to a place that is at once both powerful and peaceful. The goal is clearer and much bigger than any obstacles along the way.

A friend of mine says that perhaps as an Intrinsic Coach® we are a catalyst. We aren’t the elements, they are in and around and unique to the coachee. We aren’t the reaction because as we know it is the coachee who does the work and accomplishes the results. Maybe our coaching allows those elements to come together for the coachee in a way that can spark them forward toward the fullness of the person they are meant to be.

PS:  I believe there is something bigger at work in us and through us when we are serving as that catalyst.

Tim Clark,  C.S.C.S., Intrinsic Coach®, is the owner of Kick It Training in Chaska , MN

Applying Intrinsic Coaching® when I'm running...

I was running the other day and finding the first three kilometers to be really tough.  So I decided to use Intrinsic Coaching® and coach myself through the run.  I had a goal in mind of what I wanted to accomplish with my run, was trying to visualize it and push through that wall when I wanted to stop.  I kept thinking, “What do I want in this run?  What will it look like when I finish?”  I knew I would feel horrible and let down if I stopped.  So, I continued asking myself these types of questions throughout the run as I kept going.  I actually found myself running faster towards the end!  When I finished, I actually ran 7 kilometers which is my farthest distance (5.1 kilometers being the farthest I’ve run in the past).  I’m still in shock that I even did that, but I really think it’s a result of coaching my way through it, the whole distance. 

I’m learning that with Intrinsic Coaching® things like this are possible, because if you had asked me two years ago if I could’ve done that I would’ve said there’s no way.  By becoming clear on what I wanted, keeping that goal in mind and by asking myself questions, I was able to remain focused and continue.  Intrinsic Coaching® lets me stay focused on what I want, even when, in the moment, my internal dialogue might say otherwise.

Diane Girard
Brantford Chiropractic
Brantford, Ontario

Asking, “What am I going to do?” means you’re asking for the answer too soon.

One of the teams I have worked with over the past two years is a soccer team of young women. Their head coach is Terry Leiendecker who is also an Intrinsic Coach®. Two years ago they suffered through a disappointing season and were relegated to a lower division. Rather than splitting up to go to other teams to be able to play in the top division they chose to stay together, set the goal of making it back to the top division and then staying there. Terry told them it would be a developmental process; that it would take the whole two years; there would be progress from the start but no quick fixes. It would be about practice and learning and keeping their eyes on the goal. He asked me to join him in developing their athletic ability and work together with him on their mental skills.

The girls became the authors of their own story. They worked hard, stayed focused, had a lot of fun and rose to the top of their division and won the C-2 state championship. 7 of them went on to play for their high school varsity teams last fall as sophomores - an accomplishment no one would have predicted. So, they had worked their way back to the top division for this year.

But that was just one chapter in the story. This past spring and summer a series of injuries, bad luck and unfortunate timing left the team with a losing record and short of the number of points they needed to remain in division 1. Once again they were relegated. There were a lot of tears and sad faces when they  walked off the field on Saturday knowing they were headed back down to C-2. Several of them stopped to talk with me on the way to the parking lot. " What am I going to do?" each one asked. As an Intrinsic Coach® we know, of course, that the question, while important, is premature. So, after a hug or a pat on the back I said to each of them, I want to encourage you to take some time over the next week and ask yourself, " What am I wanting from this next year of soccer that is really important to me?" Just ponder it, let it roll around inside and if you feel like it even make some notes to yourself.

I saw them again today for a short transitional workout. They were sitting under the trees by the field putting on their shin pads and cleats. I really didn't know what to expect. I had prepared myself to go easy and to deal with the hangover of Saturday's loss. But, these girls amazed me again. They were talking about what they wanted, sometimes laughing, sometimes serious and getting clearer as they talked about what was really important to them. They wanted great coaching, they wanted to learn and train hard and keep improving, they wanted to play against the best competition they could find even if it meant playing tournaments outside their league. Getting dropped down didn't have to change any of that.

As the adults in the situation Terry and I could have swooped in and tried to fix it, petition the league for another chance or help the better players find other teams. But, at lunch after the game on Saturday we made the choice to regard them as creative, capable and complete. This is their team and they are fully capable of handling the situation and moving forward. It's their story and they get to be the authors. We also chose to ask them the central question - What do you want? Whatever they choose they are going to build on what's most important to them. Our role is to help them make their biggest contribution to accomplishing that.

I believe that for young people, actually for all of us, knowing with clarity what is really important and being able to draw on our own best thinking to accomplish those things is how healthy self esteem is really built,  not in just telling people how special they are. Learning to be the author of your own story, creating your own work of art from the inside out is true empowerment. Intrinsic Coaching® has informed our thinking each step of the way and will continue to do so as we work with the team. Whether they make it back to the top division or not these young women are learning to play a bigger game and as they move on in life they're going to be tough to stop.

I love Intrinsic Coaching®!

Tim Clark, CSCS, Intrinsic Coach® Mentor, is the owner of Kick It Training in Chaska , MN

Terry Leiendecker, CFP,CHFC, Intrinsic Coach®, Financial Service Industry, Minneapolis, MN

Learning Intrinsic Coaching® helps me help my daughter, a diabetic.

Learning the Intrinsic Coaching® methodology is helping me help my daughter who is diabetic.  She's 27 now and has been a diabetic since she was nine.  I have always been the food police to her.  She's been very ill over the last two years including a coma, she was hospitalized about forty times, and she had to move in with me and my husband.  Recently, she moved out on her own again, having had no hospitalizations in several months.  Then, last week, she was hospitalized again. When she was released, she was returned to our home for a few days. 

When she was nearly ready to the time to leave, I asked her, "Can you help me out?  I need to do a coaching session.  Would you like to participate?" And she said, "Yes" to my surprise.  So I said, "It will only take ten minutes and is going to be mostly just asking you questions, no right or wrong answers.  So how would you like to spend the next ten minutes?"  And she said, "I want to talk about getting my life on track and getting a good job." 

And she mentioned having fun again.  So I asked her what these things looked like to her and she said, "Well, being healthy, being able to do things spontaneously, going out with my friends, and not having to watch every penny, from paycheck to paycheck." And I said, "What do you want most in this moment?" and then she went on to say that she wanted a job and to be healthy.  The conversation progressed but it was slow with long pauses.  It lasted 17 minutes. 

When we were wrapping up the conversation, I found the conversation went in a direction that I had no idea happened!  Things were on her mind about work and being scrutinized and she was concerned about going back to work because she had missed three days and she knew people were going to ask about her.  But she likes her privacy and doesn't like people worrying about her.  And she got a chance to actually say all of that and at the end, I said, "Well, all right, we're going to kind of wrap things up" and she said, "You know, I can have all these things (health, permanent job, and spontaneity), if I maintain my diabetes."  That was such a shock I almost fell off my seat!  For my daughter to articulate that, after years of me begging, pleading, and crying for her to take her diabetes seriously was major. She knew that she would not have had these complications if she had done that earlier. More importantly, she said it on her own and I think it was real to her.  The answer came from her because it was there all the time.

I asked her, "What are you going to take away with you from this conversation?"  She said, "That my health is important and I'm going to take care of my health." I was elated because I knew she meant it.  I didn't push any further and I didn't ask for a next step because I felt she's a smart girl and she's will to be thinking about this. 

The next morning, I was talking to her and gave her a "wanting for" statement.  I said, "I'm wanting peace for you," and she said, "Are you supposed to say that to me?" And I said, "Well, I'm supposed to give you a wanting statement and my wanting statement is that I want peace for you."   I said that because I could see that she was stressed by her health and trying to keep her apartment and get a job that's a permanent position. 

Then, later on, I asked her, "How's your day going so far?" and she said, "Good, and, yeah, everybody's concerned about me, but that's okay." And the mother in me couldn't help but ask, "Do you think talking about that last night helped you today?" And she said "Definitely."

I can see that I listened, for the first time in, probably, eighteen years.  I really listened to what she was saying, instead of thinking of what I wanted to know and wanted to say to try to keep her well, which has not worked in eighteen years. And I said over and over to my husband, "I wish I had known about Intrinsic Coaching® when she was first diagnosed."  What a totally different scenario we would have experienced. 

And I mentioned how hard it is to coach someone that you know and how I really wanted to coach her but I was afraid that she was going to think that this was going to be another lecture. But when I coached her, I said to myself that she'll know it's not a lecture because I was shutting up.  She did all of the talking and she's not one to just open up and tell her innermost thoughts because she wants to be in control and she holds on to everything.  However, when I coached her, she just let it flow. She got a little emotional at one point, but she was still able to just speak her peace, and I could tell that she was relieved by the conversation. 

And I felt like I worked a lot less hard than I had ever worked before.

It's such a gift, such a gift, such a gift!  I asked her, "At some point would you be willing to do this again?" And she said, "Oh yeah."  And then I explained the premise of Intrinsic Coaching® and I could see in her eyes that she liked it.  And a final post script is that she is starting graduate school next winter.

Sharon Smith, BS
Fitness Coordinator Mather Lifeways
Certified Leader for Tuft’s University Strong Living Program
Prime Time Sister Circle Facilitaor
Chicago, IL

Learning Intrinsic Coaching® has reduced my stress immensely when working with others.

Just making the choice to view people as capable, creative and complete has reduced my stress immensely. I have felt this deep seeded obligation to try everything I could think of to help people get to where they wanted to go and just wasn’t having the success that I wanted. I was running myself ragged trying to figure out ways to help people accomplish whatever it was that they were going to accomplish. I was carrying their anguish, their grief and their disappointments in themselves and I felt like I had the weight of the world over my shoulders related to how others were going about their lifestyle changes. I still feel like I want to be a part of their successes and their challenges, and Intrinsic Coaching® allows me to be a part of it in a whole new way.  Just making the Choice to view them in a way that they’re in control of their own success and their own destinies make such a difference. People are not going to make change unless it’s their own want and their own desire and they’re working towards something that is important to them.  This has made the biggest impact on my personal wellness and stress and anxiety levels. To know that I have so much to put forward in combination with what the client knows about themselves with has been wonderful.

Amanda Salyer-Funk M.S.
Assistant Director-Sports Facilities and Recreation Services
Ball State University
Muncie, IN

Through Intrinsic Coaching® I'm able to turn an unsatisfied experience into a sincere learning moment for both me and the other person.

I’ve found that using what I’m learning through Intrinsic Coaching® has been a way for me to take situations where customers have been unsatisfied with a product, service or an experience and turn that into a sincere learning moment for both me and the other person.

For example, I was working with someone who was disappointed with her progress within a very traditional, systemic program. This person’s strategy to get to their so called “goal” was to come to these programs and see what happens and of course at the end of the program they weren’t happy, weren’t satisfied and didn’t achieve the goal. What this person was truly wanting wasn’t identified. So at the end of the program when she wanted more, I used that as an opportunity to have an Intrinsic Coaching® conversation. I knew that it could potentially open up some thinking for her so that she could move forward.

As I move forward, I want to be able to influence people to utilize some of these things to do service recovery.  I want to enhance what we’re doing here and enhance the relationships that we have with our customers and our clients by having conversations on what they’re wanting.  Sometimes we create these things, these elements that people can play in and participate in, without even having a conversation with them. With Intrinsic Coaching® I now have a better way of creating these things.

Amanda Salyer-Funk M.S.
Assistant Director-Sports Facilities and Recreation Services
Ball State University
Muncie, IN

It is a gift to think this way.

I’m so convinced on the benefits of Intrinsic Coaching®!  It’s now a major part of what I do and who I am.  Learning it has been monumental.  Intrinsic Coaching® allows people to discover for themselves what they are really wanting.  It is a gift to think this way.  I feel like it is my responsibility to share Intrinsic Coaching® with others.

Lynn Herrmann, M.P.H.
Intrinsic Coach® and Fitness Specialist
Advocate Fitness
Park Ridge, IL

After Learning Intrinsic Coaching® Client Success is Replicable

I have been in the fitness and wellness industry since finishing my undergrad degree in 1989. I earned my ACSM-HFI in 1990, NSCA-CSCS in ‘95 and a Masters in 2001.  I love learning and want to be the best at what I do. When I first heard about Intrinsic Coaching®, I was really intrigued, but didn’t have time to learn it then.  I kept hearing about it and thinking, I want to do that someday.  When I learned that Intrinsic Coaching® could be applied to many things I was doing, not just one-on-ones, I realized I HAD to learn it.  After the very first class, I knew I had made the right decision!

Like many of us in this industry, I love working with people and have been told I’m a good listener.  Over the years I’ve been able to connect with people and help them achieve success. When I look back now at my clients who had been the most successful, it was because we accidentally stumbled upon the intrinsic – that “ah-ha” moment when the client figures out what is most important to them and are able to move forward with a clear vision of their goal.  After learning Intrinsic Coaching®, that client success is replicable.

As an Intrinsic Coach® I have also learned - people tolerate our ideas, but they act on their own.  Now, rather than telling them what to do, I help people discover what they truly want.  It is so exciting to watch someone’s thinking unfold and turn into an actionable behavior.  I use Intrinsic Coaching® with individuals, with groups, in meetings, in presentations and even with family.  It helps bring clarity to all types of conversations.  Now that I’ve learned Intrinsic Coaching®, I have a tool that helps people find their best thinking and maximizes their ability to achieve success.  If I had only known it was going to make such an amazing difference in everything I do – I would have learned it right away!

-Ali Waelchli-Brooks, MA, CSCS, HFI, Intrinsic Coach®

Intrinsic Coaching® is one step at a time, one thought at a time...

A friend was coaching me and during the conversation she jumped to the do right away.  I asked her to wait because I wanted to talk about what was important to me about the situation.   I knew she had her own plan for me, her own idea of what she wanted for me.  It was her feeling about it that was pushing us towards the do and I didn’t feel anywhere near ready to do anything.  I needed to become clear about what I was wanting.  By exploring the goal more I got very good insight about my situation.   She wanted to keep moving forward, but I could feel the fragility of my new thinking and I didn’t want to lose it.  I asked if we could stop there so I could hold on to that new thinking. When new thinking emerges and a new idea surfaces that wasn’t there before---that’s enough.  It is fragile and as an Intrinsic Coach® we don’t want to go past that because we don’t want to lose it.  It’s thinking one step at a time, one new thought at a time.  That’s the important part here.  If I had lost that new thinking I would have gone back to the circular thinking I was having before.   

Deborah Kearns
Certified Yoga Therapist
Manhattan, New York

Intrinsic Coaching® opens up the possibilities when you work with people

Intrinsic Coaching® opens up the possibilities when you work with people.  I’m using it on a team right now for work where we’re putting together a wellness event for a client.  There’s a lot of new people on the team this year that haven’t been involved in the past so they don’t know what has happened or how things have gone.  Taking an Intrinsic Coaching® approach has made the first couple of meetings go really smooth.  Instead of how I would normally have run the meeting (explaining what we did last year, telling them what needs to be done, delegating who’s going to take over those pieces, and have everyone come back in two weeks and tell me where they are), it was more ‘here’s what we have in front of us, who has ideas, who has the heart for this thing or that thing.’ They picked what they wanted to be involved in.  When they started asking how do something I didn’t tell them.  Instead I was saying, “We have an unlimited budget and unlimited resources, what do you want to do?  What do you see going forward?  How can it benefit the client?  How can it benefit the employees?”   The team members became much more involved, engaged and committed.  As a result it became a much smoother team oriented approach versus a dictatorship.   

Joe DellOrfano
Fitness Professional
Medifit Corporate Services
Durham, North Carolina