Totally Coached, Inc.

If we all had these core capabilities, imagine what could be in this world.

What I have now, and what I continue to hold onto, is the profound knowledge and awareness that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this moment in time.  That all that needs to be done is to sit in these experiences, notice and learn.  That good and all of the potential is in the moment, ready to unfold, develop, and grow.

I have an appreciation of uniqueness that I didn’t have before - that interaction between a unique person and a unique moment in time that will never be again.  And that the intrinsic is wide, vast and unquantifiable.  And that this is where best thinking and value and resources reside.   And from these things that I know to be true stems the desire to seize the opportunity for continuous growing, flowing and expanding with no rush or compulsion to conclude. 

All of this with the goal of moving towards clarity – which in and of itself continues to unfold as I continue to ask myself:  what do I want right now in this unique moment?  This perspective provides me with patience, compassion and acceptance with regards to myself and others.  It provides me with “peace in the chaos.”

What I want is an understanding and a visceral awareness in all I have just described for individuals, families, friends, colleagues, communities, schools, businesses, leaders and governments.   If this were the foundation of what they do, the focus would be on goals, not problems; clarity, not strategy; expanding our thinking, not rushing to narrow it.

They would look inside problems, complaints, obstacles, conflicts, emotions, unanswered questions, and moments of decision making for the wanting they would know is there.  We would all have the opportunity to experience ourselves fully and give ourselves as developing, unfolding individuals.  The pressures and expectations of S >E>I that diminish who we are and what we can contribute would be transformed to the freedom and continuously unfolding goodness of I>E>S.

We would be confident that we were not seen by others merely as an idea of who they think we are or should be.  We would know that what we see is only what is merely apparent and we would consciously choose to work with the much more we know is there and we know is valuable, even though we will never see it all for ourselves.  And in so doing, a wide and expansive space would be created for our thinking, effort and engagement as our contributions to our own outcomes are maximized.

If we all had this knowledge and these core capabilities, then as we all set out to do what we do as individuals and as parts of things greater than ourselves, imagine what could be in this world.

As a result of being in this ICDS II, three new insights emerged for me, which I found helped me most grow as an Intrinsic Coach®.  First, is that the choice really is for me.  It allows me to continuously shift into the intrinsic – to make room for more than what I would otherwise see by quite effectively disabling what would otherwise be the habitual dominance of my systemic thinking.  I have a clear understanding of what it means, now, when we say that the choice is not a belief, but rather a skill.  As I noted in my first reflection, I have been focusing on how this choice first serves me by enabling me to achieve the good that I want from my supportive interaction and any interaction with someone.  I see how the choice, as a skill, is the true cornerstone of self-management.  It’s the only way to get to what is intrinsic.

I see the next significant leap in my learning as stemming from this first one; and that is the fact that I must first engage my own intrinsic thinking before I am ever able to support someone else in finding theirs.  This second insight is about the purpose of the pause for me.  It’s about acknowledging my first thought, but making room for the second thought – and by doing so creating the opportunity for my intrinsic thinking to emerge.  It’s about aligning my choices and actions as an Intrinsic Coach® with my better, more expansive second thought, which is the more valuable thinking that I want and now know how to achieve.  It’s about first achieving and maintaining I>E>S for myself so I can then support other people in experiencing the rich and expansive thinking of the intrinsic, for themselves.

Finally, this ICDS II has also expanded my awareness around the significance and importance of the I>E>S hierarchy as it relates to people>methodology.  The metaphor of the hammer and the nail resonated so clearly as I reflect on my angst about wording the question just right, making something happen in the conversation, and trying to get people to go somewhere.  This was letting my S>E thinking get the best of questions, so that questions intended to be intrinsically focused were not.

I realized that it’s not about the right way of saying something, but rather it’s about the process of thinking that produces what I say and, in turn, the thinking that it produces in the other person.  I understand that we don’t move someone forward; they move themselves forward and only when clarity emerges – the clarity that only they can see and will never be able to fully explain and that I would never have been able to help them achieve had I not first chosen the self-management that activates I>E>S in me. 

Not only do we not move people forward, we don’t move the conversation forward, either.  In fact, our job is to engage rich and new thinking – intrinsic thinking - by staying with the thinking a person is experiencing and expanding it, instead of taking that thinking somewhere else.  My goal as an Intrinsic Coach® is to help a person unleash their valuable new thinking as a unique individual in a unique moment in time.

As I reflect on my experiences as a coachee in this ICDS II, the fundamental truth of these lessons is borne out.  At the end of those ten minutes, I remember only the new thinking I experienced, the release from the S>E loop I had been in, and what was important to me.  This is what I was taking with me from the conversation.  I literally have no recollection of the questions my Intrinsic Coach® asked or whether or not I thought they were “good.” 

So in this Session Nine, two things capture nicely what I want for myself as an Intrinsic Coach® as I move ahead from exactly where I am:  Fear less and trust more; trust myself and trust the process.  I am confident that as my intrinsic awareness and skills grow and deepen, I can do both, whenever I wish, with a simple decision – the decision to make the choice. 

Randi Kant, MS, MPH, CHES, Certified Intrinsic Coach®
OMC 699 Intrinsic Coach® Development Series
Assignment # 6
4/26/11

Critical Reflection on Learning IC®

“Anybody can have a brain…back where I come from we have...seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers.”  The Wizard of Oz

This movie quote from the Wizard of Oz sums up my experience of learning Intrinsic Coaching®.  There must have been an Intrinsic Coach® Development Series back where the Wizard came from.  Where and how else could one learn the importance and benefits of becoming a great thinker?  Dorothy discovered that she had the answers to what she was wanting within herself.  People have their own answers and they achieve better results when they are guided to discover their own best thinking.  The I>E>S hierarchy elicits great thinking, the best thinking! The intrinsic unfolds a way of thinking that holds the promise of bringing people forward in attaining their goals.  Unique individuals, who are capable, creative and complete devise and adhere to their own desires for their health and wellness.  A great thinking Intrinsic Coach® serves a coachee by acting as a conduit to stimulate the coachee’s intrinsic thinking.  Wonderful things happen when a person clicks their heels and comes home to themselves where the answers dwell.   

What I have now that I did not have before is an awareness and understanding of the intrinsic dimension.  I have an appreciation of the powerful effects of intrinsic thinking.  I am developing a skill set that enhances peace within me, others and the world.  I now know a methodology based on a hierarchical logic.  I have learned a completely different approach to health and wellness coaching that gets results.  I am practicing discernment of how and when to infuse my expertise into an Intrinsic Coaching® conversation.  Now I know that I have the ability to choose to regard people as capable, creative and complete and to enjoy the peacefulness that it brings to me.  I don’t have to have all of the answers, rather I am happy to facilitate expanded thinking in a coachee.  Expanded intrinsic capacity is the domain of information rich thinking.  Now that the attitude>skills>knowledge hierarchy is apparent to me, I will continue to have and grow all that I am learning because of my ability to consciously choose to do so.   Having said that, what I want for myself, the people I serve, my school and for the world is calmness and the health and wellness that come from peace, respect and a high regard for oneself and each other.

I am learning the value of self-management and being quiet. In the language of music a rest mark denotes silence.  In the language of Intrinsic Coaching® a pause denotes thinking.  The character and richness of a song would be diminished if the rests were removed and the music just kept on going.  In the same way, the quality and effectiveness of the intrinsic dimension would be inhibited by squelching the pause.  Herein lies the value of self-management and honoring the pause.  I learned the importance of being careful not to step on new fragile intrinsic thinking while making the coachee more important than anything else.  Music is composed using a combination of chords.  There are dominant and subdominant chords.  The creativity and flavor of a song would be limited without the subdominant chords.  These chords add to the fullness of the music and illuminate the composition.  The intrinsic dimension is the subdominant chord that expands thinking and opens up the mind to a richer masterpiece. 

I am currently employed as a Certified School Nurse in the rural/suburban Township of Sparta in New Jersey.  Change is happening at school on a daily basis due to the economic downturn, failure to pass the school budget, and financial constraints imposed at the state level.  Staff members are stressed more than usual.  I am involved in staff wellness.  This year I used grant money to fund a chair massage program in my office.  This was a welcome perk.  In addition to this stress relief measure I am starting to use the language and methodology of Intrinsic Coaching® with my co-workers.  I look for opportunities to weave the intrinsic dimension into conversations.  I still have my post-it note on my computer monitor that says capable, creative and complete.  It serves as a reminder for making the choice that enables me to be peaceful toward myself and others during these turbulent and uncertain times.  Making I>E>S is particularly important now as several teachers and ancillary staff are losing their jobs.

Intrinsic Coaching® is rounding out the last phase of leading my children into adulthood.  When my daughters were younger I taught them to communicate their feelings through “I” messages.  The focus was on feelings.  Now as young adults in life transitions the focus is on thoughts and decision making.  Eliciting best thinking by expanding the intrinsic dimension is yielding results for these capable, creative and complete young women.  From something as simple as finding the internet connection at home to something as difficult as deciding to end a long term relationship with a boyfriend, my daughters have been able to benefit from my increased self-management and improved listening skills.  Intrinsic Coaching® has provided me with my own best thinking about how to be a mother to adult daughters.  I shared my thoughts about our evolving relationships with them and received more than I ever could have expected by regarding my daughters as more important than what they do or any ideas I may have about their career choices.  This is such a freeing experience for me.  The timing of this series in my life is not a coincidence.  I want healthy and peaceful relationships to continue with my daughters and Intrinsic Coaching® has been set before me in a serendipitous fashion.

I have also discovered that coaching myself is an invaluable tool for personal growth.  As I choose to regard myself as capable, creative and complete, I no longer need to engage in runaway systemic thinking that drains my energy.  I am learning that I have the ability to help myself far more than I realized by tapping into information rich, intrinsic thinking I can move forward and keep moving forward.

This class has given me tools to create a more peaceful life for myself and others around me.  It is opening up ways to develop myself, my friends, my co-workers and my students.  Supporting others in their best thinking is life affirming.  It is also relieving that others are responsible for their own answers and I am only responsible for the quality of my coaching merely by employing the central elements of Intrinsic Coaching®.  Regarding others as capable, creative and complete, listening with a spirit of service and focusing on the goal form a solid tripod to build upon the unfolding process of expanding what is inherent and not merely apparent. 

Lillian Farrell, RN, CHES, IC®
Sparta, NJ

Reflection on Learning Intrinsic Coaching®...

Continuing my reflection on the past twelve weeks as a student of the Intrinsic Coach® Development Series, I know there has been profound growth and development within myself that I excitedly look forward to continuing. Remembering the first handful of weeks and the mix of doubt, anxiety, hesitation, reservation and suspicion, I am beyond grateful for my persistence in curiosity to read on, listen, and participate during my sessions in the ICDS. I honestly don’t think I have ever been as consistently content and happy with myself as a whole, as I have become over these past weeks, thanks to my raised self awareness.

To answer the question of “What do I have now, that I didn’t have before, I know I’ll continue to have it, and I want it to continue to grow” goes right back to what I mentioned about my self-awareness. From the very beginning, we as students were persistently told to make the “Choice”, choosing to regard everyone as the individual they are, as capable, creative, and complete in their own unique way. The continued mantra of the Choice eventually became a sort of second nature, and like anything else you tell yourself, overtime you begin to believe it.

In my teen years up through the most recent months, I have battled with issues of self-image and the pressures I would put on myself to be the best reflection of health and fitness. Though I never had any real issues of weight or lack of physical activity, I let myself get the better of me and would beat myself into the ground over not accomplishing this or that, and getting down on myself for not seeing any physical changes. From the perspective of not having a background of increased intrinsic awareness, it was my natural instinct to use systemic approaches to achieve extrinsic goals for myself…never evaluating what I truly wanted deep within the “strategy that masqueraded as” my undefined goal.

Fast forwarding to the time period of these past twelve weeks, I have felt so consistently great about myself in all that I have done, not just on a physical level, but my accomplishment in school, lifestyle, and my interactions with various people. It has been such an enlightening time period for me, that I am excited to agree with Totally Coached, Inc. materials when it mentions “Intrinsic Coaching® creates a shift in thinking so powerful you can never go back, you wouldn’t want to, and, once you know, you wonder why you didn’t know it all along” (Wk 12, p 6). It makes me really excited to know that this will stay with me forever, because with proof to myself over these past weeks, I have not only seen for  myself, but continued to exhibit the positive side of my increased intrinsic awareness, the awareness I wished I had known all along.

Now that I am an Intrinsic Coach®, I have this raised self awareness that I wouldn’t ever willingly give up, and now hope to only strengthen the bond within myself on a personal level, as well as share the wealth with others. By that I mean, I have seen such a greatness about what I have studied and applied over these past weeks, that in all the doubt and speculation, I proved myself wrong simply by persistence in my intrinsic thinking, and I want to share this outcome I have witnessed as a way of giving back what is only right.

Taking a step into the future, it is unfathomable the amount of great things that can become for people and groups of people, in a world of increased intrinsic awareness. It absolutely excites me to think of what a short amount of time (in retrospect), that a small amount of reading, practicing, and application can do for the betterment of one’s thought process. I like the way it is put during week twelve’s reading about the capacity for intrinsic thinking and valuing, that it “unleashes people’s unique contributions and full potential.”  What a great thing!

I am not sure if it is simply because I have a loaded schedule and I am about to graduate that my maturity level and self awareness has been put on some sort of a fast track, bringing me to where I thought I would find myself a couple of years from now; or if the combination of learning the basics behind increasing my intrinsic capacity, has allowed me to gain such an insight to what it means to be me now and knowing what is important to me. In the last three months I have learned more things than I can put my finger on, and rather than trying to explain the intricacies, I would like to focus on the efficiency it has created, the comfort it has provided, and contentment I have been searching for years.

Since learning about strategies that masquerade as goals, I have found myself asking myself more questions about my purpose in wanting to do something, what I’m wanting, and what it means to me then and there. By taking a few more moments than I normally would, I have begun to raise a personal awareness that is addicting in the sense that I feel more in control with myself and with that comes a sense of contentment that can only be described to me in a consistent comfort.  I realize growth for some is uncomfortable, but when I put that “uncomfortable” time in perspective (during the earlier weeks of ICDS), it doesn’t seem so bad because the light at the end of the tunnel was closer than any other with the early and continuous improvements I had felt all along the way. After getting out of the “uncomfortable” time, and moving at a little faster pace due to curiosity of the series itself, I found that keeping myself “in check” and doing what I found to be the best next step for me, created this amazing efficiency that I quickly grasped onto with both hands...not once have I looked back.

Sophia F. Wagner
Health Promotion
University of St. Thomas
St. Paul, MN

Reflections on Learning Intrinsic Coaching®

Now that you’re an Intrinsic Coach®, what do you have now, that you didn’t have before, you know you’ll continue to have it, and you want it to continue to grow? 

What I have now that I didn’t have before is awareness of myself and of the people around me.  Specifically, awareness of the intrinsic. I know that I can regard people, including myself, as capable, creative, and complete.  As such I know that my own role in helping people is not to direct people or order them to do what I want them to do, but to help them find their own capabilities and best answers for themselves.  I know that I will continue to have this awareness, because what I have learned in this series are ways to self-manage my thinking so that I let this awareness take over my thinking.  I have knowledge that it is easy to see my own idea of a person rather than the person in front of me, and knowing this I can strive to overcome this tendency.  Beyond this new knowledge and awareness, I have tools that I continue to use to reflect on myself and my successes and challenges, and that I can use to help the people I serve to become more in tune with themselves and more free to show themselves to me so that we can grow together.

Now that you’re an Intrinsic Coach®, what are you wanting for yourself, the people you serve, your organization, or globally, for the world? 

For myself, I want to continue to build on the learning I have begun during these last twelve sessions with Intrinsic Coaching®.  I want my own work to be helpful and fulfilling, and to lead to good results for the people I serve.  The Intrinsic Coach® Development Series has given me a way to use a powerful kind of logic when dealing with people, and I want to use this knowledge to create positive results in all of my dealings with other people.  For those I serve, I want them to find their own power and to learn to trust their own nature.  I would like them to feel safe and trusting with me and thus be open to working together in a very productive way.  For my organization, I would like unity of purpose and would like for us to go beyond any selfish bickering to serve the higher purpose that brought us into the public health profession in the first place.  In an organization where each individual is valued and viewed as capable, creative, and complete, amazing things can happen!  And for the world I would hope for the same goal – that all of these amazing individuals that make up the world could realize their full potential and together we could tackle the problems that hold us back.  We have so many examples of the amazing potential of people that overcome obstacles to achieve great things.  Each of us has that ability, and my hope is that we can all realize this and make the most of our time.

In what way did this Series contribute to your personal development?

I feel as though this Series has given me an understanding that will make me a better person in all of my interactions with other people.  The appreciation for the uniqueness of people is at the heart of valuing people, and valuing people helps empower people.  Knowing that I am unique helps me value myself as well.  And above all, knowing that I have the ability to pursue a mission of helping people become more fully realized individuals gives me peace of mind.  I want my efforts to make the world a better place, and this Series has helped give me tools and a way of thinking that will help me pursue that goal for the rest of my life.

Kedibonye Carpenter, MPH-CHE, IC®, T.A.T.U. & N.O.T. Facilitator
Marshfield Clinic AmeriCorps Member & WIARC Representative
Substance Abuse Prevention
Serving the Western Wisconsin ATOD Education Network
Cooperative Educational Services Agency #4
West Salem, WI

Critical Reflection on Learning Intrinsic Coaching®

In this reflection, I will address the new thinking I have gained as it relates to Intrinsic Coaching® and how I plan to nurture that new thinking. I will also address what I am wanting for myself and the people I interact with in the world on a daily basis. Finally, I will reflect on the elements of the Intrinsic Coaching® Series that most engaged me and that I want to implement in my life, both personally and professionally.

Now that I am an Intrinsic Coach®, the most significant change for me has been the shift in thinking from the traditional models of psychology and counseling to the Intrinsic Coaching® method. This shift is evident even from the outset. In traditional psychotherapy, I am speaking in very general terms, there is the underlying focus on the client’s problem and the accompanying judgment that the counselor’s job is to “fix” the client and “solve” the problem. There is also a sense that the client is seen as needing help and the counselor is therefore in a superior position. This is just the opposite in Intrinsic Coaching®. The coach makes a choice to view the client as “capable, creative and complete” and the coaches job is to elicit the coachee’s best thinking rather than solicit advice and directives.  I experienced a great feeling of relief upon learning the foundational principles of Intrinsic Coaching®. Making the coachee’s thinking more important than my own takes the pressure of me and places the outcome back on the coachee, while simultaneously building up the coachee’s trust in his/her own thinking.

Another piece of Intrinsic Coaching® that impacted me that I want to continue to grow in is spiritual. I relate so well to this material because it coincides beautifully with my own spiritual beliefs. I believe that all humanity is unique and each person on Earth is intrinsically valuable. Making the “Choice”, reinforces this belief and I will continue to practice it over and over…

Secondly, the idea of “listening with a spirit of service”. Christ came to the world not to be served but to serve. And we in turn, are to serve each other with brotherly/sisterly love. It reminds me of the story from Luke 10:38-42, where Martha is busy scurrying around the house cleaning and cooking (more extrinsic) while Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet listening to him (more intrinsic). The material from Week Three explains that, “Service is the work of the soul. Service rests on the premise that the nature of life is sacred, that life is a holy mystery which has an unknown purpose. When we serve, we know that we belong to life and to that purpose. From the perspective of service, we are all connected: All suffering is like my suffering and all joy is like my joy. The impulse to serve emerges naturally and inevitably from this way of seeing.” ( Page 1 The Foundation- Week 3).

The third principle that I want to nurture is that people want to be fully alive. I want to be fully alive. In John 10:10b Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” I believe that we are meant to live fully and we have an amazing capacity for growth in all area’s of our being….spiritual, intellectual, physical, emotional, social, etc. Intrinsic Coaching® understands that we are all capable of growth and change. When we live by a series of “shoulds and oughts” we are, infact, disabling our natural capacity for growth.

Now that I am an Intrinsic Coach®, I am wanting to expand on my new learning as it is still fresh and fragile. I want to continue to study and practice the Intrinsic Coaching®  methodology in my own life, in my family and in my career. I know that by making the choice and focusing on what people are wanting and continuing to do that, I will solidify my new thinking. The natural inclination in coaching, is to help, solve, or fix. Our knowledge can actually inhibit growth in those we are trying to help. But when we make the choice, and make people more important than information a shift takes place that allows people to feel safe to reveal what they’re wanting and what is important to them. I want to use this methodology with my daughters and with the special needs kids that I work with each day. I want full aliveness for those I love, know, meet, as well as for myself.

My next goal is to continue on to graduate school for a MA in Psychology and Counseling. I think that my new Intrinsic thinking will be of huge benefit to me as I continue my education. I believe that I will have a new perspective to share with classmates and teachers. I plan to integrate my knowledge of Intrinsic Coaching® with my knowledge of traditional therapies to be able to utilize the best method for a given situation. My future career goal is to work in transitional counseling in a high school with young adults who are just on the cusp of entering the adult world. This is a place where the question “What do you want that is important to you?” is especially valuable.

-Corrie Merten,  Chanhassen, MN

Making the Choice allowed me to see more than what's merely apparent.

This week I made the Choice to view the individuals I came in contact with as capable, creative and complete. Although, I must admit that this is not quite as easy as it sounds. I had to continually remind myself to reinforce the Choice. It is actually more natural to allow negative thought processes emerge as situations arise that counter the idea that individuals are capable, creative and complete. It requires effort to alter one’s thinking and chose to view people in holistically.

One of the concepts from the first week material that impacted me the most is the idea of what is “not merely apparent”. As I contemplated what this concept involves, a bible verse came to mind from 1Samuel 16:7. “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the Heart.” Our human tendency is to look at the outward, extrinsic so that we can categorize and label what we see. But if we are able to transform our thinking and see that which is not merely apparent we can see the true individual for whom he or she is. One of the goals of my life is to be more “Christ-like” in my interactions with others. To me this means appreciating the individuality, uniqueness and preciousness of people. It is not our job to judge others but to value and love others.

My goal was put to the test this week at work. My position as a recruiter for an outsourcing firm is fertile ground for applying Intrinsic Coaching® principles. I interview approximately 10-15 candidates per week and place about four in new positions. It is very rewarding when the “fit” is right and both candidate and client are happy. But my example is with a particular candidate. This woman came into to apply for office service positions. Her resume was well done and she has over 15 years experience in payroll and accounting. But from the moment she walked in I noticed that she did not present herself well. She did not make good eye contact; she had a weak handshake, and spoke very quietly. She was not exactly the picture of an easily place able candidate, especially in today’s job market. During the interview I asked this candidate my standard behavioral questions and she did not have confident ready answers. Just as I was ready to close up our interview, I thought about the Choice and seeing what is not merely apparent.

Once I made the Choice to view her as capable, creative and complete, something changed. It may have been my own reaction toward her…but she started to open up. She said that her husband committed suicide and that her son who is in prison was let out for the funeral but attended the service in shackles under supervision by a watch guard. Her grief was so thick and palpable. As she spoke, my heart began to soften and I was able to identify with her and the grief she is experiencing. Her body language relaxed once she opened up to me and she looked into my eyes. We made a connection in that moment!

Had I not put the Choice into action, my encounter with this woman would have ended with me thinking that she was not place able due to my perceived view of her extrinsically. She would have likely left my office feeling overlooked, misunderstood, rushed and/or distressed. Had this woman and I not made the intrinsic connection, I would not feel as compelled to advocate for her in this tight market. She may have not have felt comfortable emailing me to thank me for the interview.

The decision to make the Choice and see more than what was merely apparent allowed us to connect with one another. She was able to feel comfortable and express herself. Once she did, a confidence emerged and her eyes lit up. I am more motivated now to help her find a position that will meet her needs at this time in her life.

-Corrie Merten, Recruiter, Express Employment Professionals, Chanhassen, MN

Critical Reflection on Learning Intrinsic Coaching®

What do I have now, that I didn’t have before, I know I’ll continue to have it, and I want it to continue to grow?

I have respect for every person’s ability to find their own solutions with intrinsic thinking.  Before this course, I truly felt I was doing a service to others by helping them find answers to their problems. Now I know I was a fixer not a server. I am knowledgeable in many areas, have experience with people, and thought helping was a good thing to do.  I did not have the understanding or knowledge of how powerful intrinsic thinking is or how important and meaningful to each of us it is to find our own answer or solution.  Now that I have learned about I>E>S I have a little more understanding of the levels of thinking.  Along with that understanding comes a greater value placed on intrinsic thinking.  I will always have that but know that it can easily be overpowered by E and S thinking.  My work will be to learn more, experience the power of I more, and live with a heightened value of intrinsic thoughts.

I am not certain how, other than simply using the methodology every day, I will grow these skills.  I may pursue further formal coursework through the company –Totally Coached, Inc..  I most certainly will practice and use the skills regularly to improve them.  I may seek some coachees on a non-paying basis but with regular sessions to build those skills. I just know I want to continue this amazing journey!

What do I want for myself, the people I serve, my organization, and globally for the world?

What I want for myself is to move forward with bringing out the intrinsic in all areas of my life. I am becoming better at eliciting my own intrinsic thinking and am valuing it highly.  Personally, I plan to continue coaching in some form.  Perhaps a few people at a time on a casual, but regular basis.  I know I will incorporate the coaching skills in my role as a physical therapist.  My clients will be asked many more “What’s important to you?” and “What do you want?” type questions than ever before.  I know that this is more valuable to them to be served than to be helped by me.  As a member of a leadership team I will bring these coaching skills to many meetings and interactions with others.  I will be an advocate for formal Intrinsic Coaching® for employees of the organization.  Why?  Intrinsic thinking is fragile.  It is easily buried beneath layers of E and S thinking.  It also has great creative power to find solutions.  We haven’t tapped into even a tiny fraction of this power.  As people we need to use this powerful intrinsic thinking to create better solutions for our countries and all the people of the earth.

In what way did this class contribute to my personal development?

I realized as I tried to change how ingrained my thought and communication styles are.  As I practiced intrinsic principles, I found out how difficult it is to unlearn or change these patterns.  I listen to and experienced the results of this coaching/learning method and knew I wanted to learn it, to ultimately become very capable in it.  Already with some small success under my belt I feel optimistic and think I can master this change and the skills/method it entails.  Even with setbacks or not so impressive attempts at Intrinsic Coaching®, I still am determined to work towards my goal of truly becoming an Intrinsic Coach®. 

The greatest contribution to my development is the challenge of pursuing an ongoing goal- the journey of accomplishing the skills needed to be a great Intrinsic Coach®.  With this I can be an even better physical therapist, leader, friend, and family member.

Robin Cedarleaf Nicholson, PT, HealthEast Care System

Integrating Intrinsic Coaching® into Massage Therapy

Applying Intrinsic Coaching® principles in my life and in my practice as a massage therapist has been transformational in many ways.  Choosing to regard my clients as creative, capable and complete was initially one of the most difficult but powerful mindset changes for me.  This is particularly important for me because as massage therapists we are not licensed health practitioners and by law we are not allowed to diagnose patients.  Given this fact, and the fact that our field is highly intimate and intuitive in nature, we are positioned well to rely on other more effective and intuitive ways to work with clients to facilitate therapeutic changes than on the more traditional diagnostic or problem based methods. By using the Intrinsic Coaching® approach of “serving” the client versus “helping” or “fixing” and not being diagnostic, I have been able to be fully compliant with the state laws of Minnesota while achieving better results by incorporating the client in a collaborative healing process (tapping into their own resources rather than just relying on mine).

I have been surprised to learn that so much can be revealed by a client through non verbal and energetic cues during a massage treatment session.  And through the simple process of quieting my mind to listen very actively, I am better tapping into my own intuitive healing resource at the same time. 

I learned that a client’s attitude toward healing and the way they view their own state of health or capacity for healing plays a huge role in their progress.  One very frustrated client came into the clinic complaining of abdominal and chronic bladder pain which she had been experiencing for the past 5 years.  She had seen several specialists and felt she was at a “dead end with no one to help”. My normal (pre-coaching) intake process was to have the client rate the pain and to make several suggestions about work that could be done.  Having experienced similar chronic bladder pain, I immediately identified with the client and began telling her about my experiences with bladder pain and MY own healing process.  I later realized that this was not at all “coach-like” or productive. I also saw my own pattern of “prescriptive” and diagnostic behavior with my friends and family as well.  I began to see that I had been so quick to give advice based on my own experiences and health expertise. 

This same client came in the following week which gave me an opportunity to change my whole intake approach.  I began asking her “want” questions which were much more thought provoking and allowing her to participate fully in the decision on treatment course.  I refrained from identifying with her (self management), from making assumptions, rephrasing her sentences and made the session completely about her – tuning into her intently.  It immediately seemed that with very little effort, I established a different and much stronger level of trust and report with her and she returned to me each week (requesting me as a therapist). We saw steady progress with me using abdominal and pelvic massage techniques having her work in synch with me to release areas of tension and to deepen her breathing. She ultimately decided (after I asked her “want” questions) that she wanted me teach her self massage techniques during the treatment session.  She was a very happy client and I was very pleased to see this result. 

I also began relying less and less on previous client experiences and assumptions for treatment planning and decisions (for example “I was able to fix his tight traps with this stroke, so I will try it on this next client…”). I realized that I regularly and systematically categorized people into “pain categories” and often made over generalized and inaccurate assumptions about their pain and how best to treat them.  Really listening to clients both during the intake and observing them more intently throughout the treatment session had a huge impact on my ability to affect my clients (and myself) in a more positive way.

I started to recognize that I was able to elicit new thinking and I learned how to recognize it clearly (the silence) and cherish it.  I noticed that clients would often refer to some sort of change process that had occurred in between the sessions and I realized that I was playing an active role with them in their healing.  This was really exciting.   I also realized that if I let go of my focus on technique, and really allowed each step to inform the next – I was much more “tuned in” to the client and could sense even the slightest shift in energy. I began to rely more on listening and really tuning into clients.
It almost seemed that my technique and skill set was so insignificant compared to the simple process of tapping into the client properly.

One of the biggest challenges at a student-run health clinic, where I am working, is how to serve as many the growing number of clients that have massage needs within the limited time frame that we have which is typically 15-20 minutes.  Incorporating Intrinsic Coaching® techniques or at least rewording the intake process questions to be more coach-like has allowed me to work with clients more effectively in this short period of time and built an important level of trust during the first visit.

A trap that I had fallen into as a massage therapist was to assume that I can “fix” everyone and that I have some magical power to do so. Clients often believe this and it further encourages this egocentric thinking. This immediately created an unhealthy power balance that my instructors in massage are always warning against.  I found myself being more concerned about what unique stroke I could perform to get a client “hooked” and strategizing in my head about what to do next during the treatment. When I began worrying less about my own skills and technique and allowing the results of one stroke to inform the next, with less pre-planning, I immediately felt more connected to clients and saw better results.  In the end, the client is happy and books a return visit.  Sometimes I can’t honestly explain why, but they return and I feel the connection.

Choosing to see all clients – no matter how broken down they are or no matter how much pain they are suffering – as capable, creative and complete also allowed me to tap into my client’s resources better. This has helped me to avoid the kind of (co-dependent) relationships that are potentially unhealthy for both me and my clients. 

Another important thing about myself that I am now managing is my tendency to steer people according to answers that I have in mind.  I also finish sentences for people often.  I find myself wanting to start sentences with “so then you would like….”  Typically I would do this without even listening to what the client or customer had to say because I was convinced I had a better way to state it and that I understood exactly what they wanted AND how to say it.  I discovered that even my desire to “help” or “heal” people was and is still often self serving and egocentric in many ways.  I was then able to see how I often missed important information while making assumptions and maintaining a certain power and direction over clients and client intake conversations.  My business background in particular has conditioned me to always be in control and have a certain power over my clients this is absolutely not productive in my newly chosen career as a health practitioner.

In summary, my experience applying Intrinsic Coaching® techniques with my massage therapy clients in a clinic setting has led me to important realizations about myself and about my massage therapy practice. These realizations and my ability to self manage and recognize clients as creative, capable and complete have led to powerful therapeutic results, a great deal of growth and self awareness on my part and a much more enjoyable work experience for me overall

Katrina Koller
Massage Therapy
Northwest Health Sciences University ICDS-Chiropractors

Critical Reflections on Learning Intrinsic Coaching®

As an Intrinsic Coach®, I now have the power of the intrinsic: a basic methodology by which to live and work that will allow me to make decisions or choose direction based on my own principles and beliefs, tapping into my own intuitive intelligence and capacity for wellness.  I discovered that have resources beyond what I ever dreamed I had. This has made feel empowered and energized in nearly every aspect of my life.   The methodology gives me the tools and guidance, and my own mind, body and spirit simply need to be “present” to do the rest.

The ICDS series has helped me understand the value of applying the I >E>S model in my personal and professional life.  Personally, I find myself applying the model whenever a friend or family member is struggling, sometimes reflecting on past challenges or sometimes just for fun.  Learning to self managing is a humbling but productive growth process. I have become highly aware of my patterns and thoughts which I realize is the first step in not allowing them to dominate or get in the way of my or the coachee’s best thinking. 

As a health care practitioner, I have learned that as I lean more and more on the methodology and “trust it” regarding myself and my clients as capable, creative and complete I have been able to establish a deeper connection and level of trust with my clients with very little effort.  The results are almost always surprising – to both me and to my clients.  I have discovered that this capacity is within all of us, and our mutual connections encourage it naturally. Knowing this, I have become an “intrinsic evangelical” of sorts.  I feel compelled to share this wisdom with everyone I know and to network with other professionals who might also benefit from this knowledge.  The feel the world would indeed be a more harmonious place if we all led with our intrinsic values.  I also feel a real sense of interdependency or universal connectedness to nearly everyone with whom I come in contact when I simply allow it to happen and I notice amazing things each time. 

Katrina Koller
Massage Therapy
ICDS-Chiropractors (Northwest Health Sciences University )

Critical Reflection on Learning Intrinsic Coaching®

Now that I am an Intrinsic Coach® I have so many attributes that I did not have before taking this course.

• I am more patient. In the past I was quick to offer solutions and my ideas.
• I am a better listener; I take time to see each person as capable, complete and creative. In the past I would not give my true self as a listener.  I was easily distracted by my own thoughts.
• I am able to self manage myself much better. I am not as eager to solve everyone’s problem with my idea of what I think is right for them. I realize they are the only one who knows what is right for them.
• I now ask each one of my employees “what do they want.” I am not always looking for “what is merely apparent.”
• Intrinsic thinking is powerful and enlightening.
• I am able to see each person as unique. This is very refreshing to me. I do not put labels on people; I am looking for their thoughts and goals.
• I am less judgmental. There truly is no right and wrong to Intrinsic Coaching®.
• The answers lie with each individual and what they truly want for themselves.

As an Intrinsic Coach® I have been able to take a look at what I want and truly examine that in myself. I do not think I have ever asked myself this question. It is very moving to discover there are things that I do want and I need to take the steps to improve my life and myself. I have taken some big steps personally and I have benefited by improving my relationships with my family.

It is interesting as a manager I am much more tolerant of people and my assistant recently told me,” You are so much more patient and listen so much better”. I was able to tell her about Intrinsic Coaching® and I shared some of my newfound knowledge with her. I am hoping to have many more of my staff take this course. I have encouraged them to sign up. Three are currently enrolled. I want them to discover the revelations I have found in the last eleven weeks.  I have told my manager about this also and I have encouraged him to take the course as well as others in management at our hospital. I have used the techniques on my staff as a group and it works very well to ask a group ‘what do you want’ individually for this program. We have had the most productive meetings we have had ever had and all I did was ask, “What do you want”. I would so like to bring this to our entire hospital.  I believe it would impact our customer service and patient care as well as encourage intrinsic thinking of all the staff. What a great world it would be if everyone used the intrinsic way of thinking! Everyone is capable, creative and complete.  What an idea!

Some of the new learning I learned from the course are:

• I have learned everyone is unique and know what they want for themselves.
• I have learned to move conversations forward, not to dwell on past behaviors and experiences.
• I have learned to listen with the spirit of service. I want to help move people to their best thinking.
• I have learned to quiet my internal dialogue.
• I have learned to approach coaching conversations, as “I am clueless” about the coachees’ wants and needs.
• I have learned to give people the space to be who they really are.
• I have learned to be more patient.
• I have learned to trust the process.
• I have learned to encourage new thinking and understand this thinking is fragile and people need space and time to digest these thoughts.

The part of the series that really moved me was in week 10. The reading was powerful and I felt I really now understand the process. It is coming more natural to me each time I use Intrinsic Coaching®. I have learned that non-judgmental accountability keeps track of action and progress while it keeps the responsibility in the hands of the coachee. Not every form and graph applies to everyone. I learned to ask the coachee, “What is the best way for you to be accountable to your goals?” I learned that as a coach I need to focus on continuous growth and development for the coachee, in ways that are important to the coachee. I learned to use the words “I notice.” Our classroom discussions were excellent when we reviewed our readings for the week. I see so much growth in all of us since we started the course. Tracy, our instructor is wonderful and so encouraging. I feel she truly wants us to be successful, she continues to move us forward in our thinking. I will keep my readings and course materials close as I move forward in my Intrinsic Coaching®. I am more relaxed and I ask myself each day, “What is important to me and what do I want?” I feel I am a much better manager and person.

Lana Bleil RN BS COHN CCM
Practice Manager
Mercy Business Health Services

OMC 299 Critical Reflection Paper